


Wild Hearts

by Kimmimaru



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Gang Rape, Heavy Angst, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Not Beta Read, Potential Spoilers, Racist Language, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide mentions, This Is Not A Happy Story Folks, Torture, don't read if you haven't read the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-06-21 05:37:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15550818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmimaru/pseuds/Kimmimaru
Summary: After hearing about his parentage Keith tries to run away from the others, afraid of how they would treat him now they all knew the truth. However, he is captured by Galra ships and imprisoned.*heed tags. This is dark. VERY dark. I'm not kidding around here, if any of this upsets you don't read it*





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tagged it, I put a warning in the description but here's another one in case you're silly enough to have ignored the others; DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE OK WITH THE THEMES ADDRESSED IN THIS FIC. This is a work of fiction and in no way reflects my own morals and beliefs, any resemblance to any real life people/situations is purely coincidental. (sorry about the disclaimer but nowadays not even tags work so I always make 100% certain people know what they're getting into when reading one of my fics)
> 
> This is a fic dedicated to my bestie who dragged me into this spacey hell. Enjoy.

 

He could still hear their voices. A constant, static-y chatter over the comms system of his stolen ship. Of course they wouldn't just let him go, not without putting up some kind of fight but he had no intention of returning. It was now or never, if he'd stayed to say good bye it'd only hurt worse. Best to get it over with in one fell swoop, rather than draw it out. He stared out over the vast expanse of stars and wondered where he would go now. He had no one. Not Voltron, not the paladins...no one. He was totally alone in a way he hadn't been for a long time. It was more terrifying than he'd thought and he looked down at his console, biting on his lower lip. He frowned down at the lights on his cockpit display, thinking when suddenly a voice made him start.  
  
“ _Keith...Keith...if you can hear me...return to base._ ”

 

“Shiro.” Keith felt his eyes burn savagely, his hands tightening on the yoke as he grit his teeth.  
  
“ _Keith, I know you're upset but there...there has to be some way we can all talk this through. Together. As a team. You can't just go running off like this, it's too dangerous. Please, Keith, talk to me._ ”  
  
Keith's fingers were moving before he'd thought about it, he tapped the button and Shiro appeared on a screen before him. His face was pained, he looked at Keith carefully as if making sure he was unharmed before he spoke.  
  
“ _Look I understand-_ ”  
  
“No. No you don't. How can you?” Keith snapped, flicking his eyes away briefly, “You can't understand what it's like to know that...that you're part of a race of people who destroyed so many lives! Allura can't even look at me! If I stay I'll just cause more problems.”  
  
“ _Keith, Allura will get used to it. She's just having a hard time with the information, she'll come around. We need you_.”  
  
“Shiro...I...I'm so-” His control panel lit up red as his tiny ship detected the presence of several much, much larger ships. “Hold on...I think someone found me.” Keith cursed under his breath, pulling back on the yoke and turned around.   
  
“ _Keith? What's going on?_ ” Shiro's voice held a bite of urgency to it but Keith could only stare with wide eyes as a whole fleet of huge battle class ships descended upon him, “ _Keith? Keith?! Answer me!”  
  
_ “Galra.” Keith whispered hoarsely as several smaller ships closed in on his position, “I'm surrounded.”  
  
“ _We're coming. Sit tight.”_  
  
Keith frowned as he looked around himself. He was hemmed in on all sides, cut off from help or escape. His console flashed, turning the inside of the cockpit crimson. His fingers flew over the console then he grabbed the yoke. He yanked it backwards, forcing his ship into reverse. He spun around and started making a mad dash towards the nearest gap in the ships surrounding him. With a hard swallow Keith looked back at Shiro just as the endless darkness outside was lit up in the white-hot blast of a laser beam. A single scream was torn from his throat as his ship jerked violently. He was sent spinning through open space, agony tearing up his side as he slammed against the side of his chair. The breath was knocked out of him as the ship came to an abrupt halt, throwing him forward so his head smashed into the control panel.  
  
Shiro could only watch as Keith's ship shuddered, emergency lights and alarms blaring. Smoke filled the cockpit, Keith was slumped forward across his console. Behind him the doors to the cockpit opened to reveal three huge figures, they approached just as Keith began to come around. He was grabbed by the back of his neck, lifted and hauled right over the back of his seat. Shiro realised he was screaming, watching Keith be dragged away, watching him struggle weakly. He was obviously dazed from the impact, eyes glassy and blood seeping from a wound in his head. And then...everything went black.  
  
  


XXX  
  
  


Keith came around slowly. He started to hear voices first, people talking in hushed half-whispers as if they were afraid to speak too loudly. It took him a while to comprehend what they were saying, they came through in waves, like a badly tuned radio. After the voices came the pain. His head throbbed, making him feel sick. His body ached, his mouth was dry and tasted like dirt. Slowly his hearing improved.  
  
“Look at this, sir,”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“We were running some basic diagnostic tests and we took a blood sample, it turns out that this one is half Galra.”  
  
Keith slowly forced his eyes open, revealing a blurry, incoherent world that looked as if it was on its side. He groaned, wincing in pain as he attempted to roll over.  
  
“Half-breed, huh? Throw him in the brig. We'll be arriving shortly.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
Heavy footsteps retreated from the small room, leaving Keith alone with only one. If he hadn't felt so groggy maybe he'd make some attempt at escape but it wasn't worth taking the risk. Perhaps they'd keep him alive long enough to try when he was recovered enough for it. He closed his eyes and felt himself lifted.  
  
“Hm, small for a Galra half-breed. Pretty though, too pretty for a place like this.”  
  
Keith let his head fall back as he was carried like a baby out of the room and down a long, long corridor. He let his mind drift back to Shiro.  
  
His captor came to a halt, Keith heard the hiss of a door opening and then he was tossed onto a metal floor, “Now, be a good boy until we can get you back to the base. They will know what to do with you.” Keith opened his eyes, watching the Galra walk away. The door closed behind him, plunging him into darkness.  
  
XXX  
  
Shiro fell back against the leather-like couches of the lounge in the Castle of Lions. He put his forearm over his eyes, hiding them from the intense light. He had been out every chance he got, searching for something...anything in the last place they knew Keith had been. They had only discovered the wreckage of his ship, long since destroyed. Allura, in her guilt, had started working with the Blades, using their spy network to hunt Keith down. Shiro was sure that if anyone could find him, it'd be them. But months had passed with no sign. Prison ship after prison ship had been searched. Endless databases had been combed, no mention of Keith. Shiro could tell that the others were rapidly losing hope, even heard whispers among their tiny crew that Keith was dead. Shiro refused to believe that. He had to have hope. He had to be out there somewhere.   
  
He was plagued by dreams of Keith as a boy back on earth; dirty, bruised and always spoiling for a fight. A lonely boy with dark, soulful eyes that had captured Shiro's attention straight away. Something about his fierce nature had drawn Shiro to him in a way few people had. He had been the little brother he'd never known he'd wanted and now...now there was something else...  
  
Shiro sat up, rubbing at his eyes, frowning away those thoughts. They led to dangerous territory. He couldn't afford to allow himself to get distracted. He sighed and rose, intending on getting something to eat before heading out again despite how futile he knew it was.  
  
Just as he was about to leave he heard someone running behind him, he turned to see Pidge's tiny form come to a sliding halt. She was pale, panting and looked worried, “Shiro! They...they found him...”

 

For a moment Shiro doubted his own ears, he felt a weird wave of light-headedness before he finally registered what Pidge had said, “Keith?” he whispered, his voice coming out slow and a little hoarse. It'd been so long. Way too long.  
  
Pidge nodded rapidly, snatching at Shiro's hand, “Come on, the Blades found him. They're talking to Allura and the others now. Come _on_ , Shiro!” She tugged at him impatiently until Shiro's legs finally started to move.  
  
Shiro let himself be guided away from the mess hall, still feeling oddly numb and tingly.   
  
The control room of the Castle was full, when the doors opened everyone turned to look. Shiro saw Kolivan's stern face was plastered across the screen behind Allura who offered him a small smile. Shiro couldn't yet let himself hope as he strode towards his friends purposefully, “What's going on?” He demanded, locking eyes with the leader of the Blade of Marmora, “Pidge said...said you'd found him...” Shiro hesitated, desperation flashing across his face as he reached Allura's side. She touched his wrist gently, a reassuring gesture that gave him a moment to take a deep breath.  
  
“One of our spies discovered a record of a prisoner taken during a mission, yes. It contained detailed video of a prisoner we identified as Keith.”  
  
“Show me.” Shiro demanded.  
  
“We do not recommend-”  
  
“I'll decide that for myself, thanks. Just show us.”  
  
“Very well,” Kolivan turned and muttered something to one of his men, a second later his face was replaced by a grainy security video. Shiro's heart leapt inside his chest as he watched a skinny boy dressed in prison garb run down a corridor, pursued by a large group of guards. Keith dived around a corner, momentarily obscured by a metal strut before he skidded back into view. He came to a halt, crouched low, eyes darting around as the camera zoomed in on his face.

  
“Oh man, he's a mess...” Hunk muttered nearby but Shiro ignored him, the air felt too thick in his chest. Keith looked like a wild animal caught in a trap. His face, hands and clothes were smeared with blood. His feet were bare, his clothes ruined. His eyes held a strange glaze as he stood, surrounded by enemies and panting. His hair stuck up in wild angles and bruises covered his face. Shiro could see at least three broken fingers.   
  
“Shiro...Shiro?” The voice seemed to come from far away, Shiro realised he was holding his breath and leaning forward against the nearest solid surface. He watched in horror as someone stepped out of the group of guards. He looked as if he was speaking, lifting a hand to point an accusing finger. Keith shook his head violently, backing up until he came up against the wall.   
  
“No...” Shiro wheezed as the Galra officer aimed something at Keith, some sort of device. Keith jerked, eyes wide and unseeing as electricity crackled around him. He threw his head back, face twisted in agony and revealed a black collar circling his throat. Keith dropped to his knees before collapsing completely.

 

They all watched in horrified silence as Keith lay still, twitching a little on the floor. The warden walked forward and crouched, grabbing Keith's collar and hauling him roughly to his feet. Keith's unbroken fingers went straight to his throat as he was choked. The warden seemed to laugh at his pitiful struggles before tossing him towards his men. The video cut out.  
  
“We discovered this video by accident, it, along with Keith's prison records, were not under his name or any sort of description. It was simply numbered. We were searching in all the wrong places, we had assumed that he would have been headed for the arena...but he is being transferred elsewhere.”  
  
“Then...where is he being sent?” Allura asked warily.  
  
“Central command.”

 

Shiro gripped at his chest, his knees felt wobbly. He shook, eyes wide and unseeing as he stared at his white-knuckled grip on the console before him. Broken, jagged memories cut him to the bone, flashes of remembered pain, fighting, a hard fist...someone touched his arm, a gentle gesture but one that made him jerk away violently, spinning around. Lance stared at him with wide eyes, hands up in a placating gesture. Shiro blinked rapidly a few times, swallowing before he took a deep breath and focussed himself, “Sorry...” He muttered, turning away guiltily, “I just...”  
  
“Yeah, it's...pretty bad.” Lance looked away, rubbing at his arm.

  
Shiro finally looked back up at the screen, “Kolivan, where...where did you find this?”  
  
“On a prison ship captained by one of Zarkon's more ruthless commanders.” Kolivan shook his head, “When he gets to central command he will be at the Emperor's dubious mercy.”  
  
“We cannot allow Keith to fall into Zarkon's hands.” Allura said, “Is there any way we can rescue him before he reaches his destination?”  
  
Kolivan considered the princess in silence for a moment, “Perhaps, but it would be too dangerous. If they get their hands on Voltron we are all doomed. Keith was a worthy ally but we will not risk-”

 

“Please,” Shiro whispered, lowering his head, “ _Please_ we can't do this without your help.”  
  
“We're sorry. Keith's fate is out of our hands.”  
  
Shiro took a breath, “No! No I refuse to abandon him! We can't let him rot in there. He'd come rescue any of us if the roles were reversed. Zarkon can only get Voltron if we take him. If we send in a small team, then...then maybe...” Shiro straightened up, frowning in determination, “Send me the coordinates.”  
  
“Very well,” Kolivan nodded his head to someone off screen, “I will remind you that I think this is a foolish idea.”  
  
“Thanks for the input but we don't leave our comrades behind.” Shiro looked down at his console and saw the coordinates displayed there, “Thanks.” He frowned up at Allura who watched him, concern creasing her brows.  
  
“So, what's the plan, Shiro?” Pidge asked, an eager light in her eyes.  
  
“We'll need to keep the team as small as possible, it's easier to avoid detection that way. So, me and-”  
  
“Me!” Pidge raised her hand, “The green lion has cloaking, remember?”  
  
Shiro smiled, feeling the first touch of hope, “Yeah,” Maybe they could do it. Maybe Keith wasn't as lost as they thought he was.  
  
XXX  
  
Cool fingers slid underneath his chin, tilting his head up so that he could fix his blurred vision on the hooded woman before him. His chest burned, his wrists bleeding from his struggles. He was chained to the freezing wall of his cell, arms above his head. They had long ago gone numb from lack of blood flow. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth from the slap he'd earned by trying to fight. The skin around his throat, beneath the collar, was burning from it's most recent use. He trembled in the female's firm grip.  
  
“Soon he will come for you. Wouldn't you like to see your dearest friend one last time? You whisper his name in your dreams. He's far too honourable to allow you to remain here for long, you will be reunited.”

 

Keith groaned, the only sound he was capable of making while someone slid a needle into the crook of his arm. Relief flooded him, he let his head fall back against the wall as his empty stomach settled, a gentle tingle spread slowly across his skin and he sighed. He was released and left to drown in the bliss that had been pumped into his veins. He fell gladly into the dream-like state the drug brought him, he stared blindly across the room as shadows spread across the floor to engulf him, “Sh...Shir...o...” He whispered to the darkness and let his eyes fall closed.  
  


Later he came around to find himself lying slumped half on the floor, half against the wall. He opened his eyes, looking around his sparse cell and wondering what had woken him. His wrists burned, he had a pounding headache and he was shivering. It was cold in his cell and they refused to give him anything remotely warm, seeming to prefer watching him in nothing but a torn shirt that he had to keep pulling down over his ass. He blinked blearily around, the buzz from whatever drug they'd given him wearing off quickly. He spotted a tall, muscular figure standing in the shadow by his door and tensed. His fingers tingled as he forced them into fists above his head.  
“So, you're the pretty half-breed everyone's been talking about?”  
  
A Galra stepped into view, eyeing Keith with a strange look in his eerie, yellow eyes. Keith didn't answer but fixed a fierce glare on his face. He bared his teeth in an animalistic snarl as the Galra approached with steady steps, he smirked and crouched in front of Keith. He was close enough that he could reach out and touch him so Keith drew his legs closer into his body, a pathetic attempt to conserve his lost modesty.   
  
“You got fire, boy. I like that. It's a shame they couldn't restrain themselves enough not to damage your pretty face.” He reached out, running a finger down the side of Keith's cheek, over the huge bruise painting his skin dark purple.  
  
Keith flinched violently, hissing, “Get off of me!” He snarled, moving back against the wall.  
  
The Galra laughed, “Still got some fight left I see. How about I put an end to that?” Slowly he rose again, hands going to his uniform and undoing the buttons, “Only thing half-breeds like you are good for is sucking cock. Don't worry, no one'll interrupt us,” He pulled his cock from his trousers, cupping it and watching Keith with hunger in his eyes, “Go on, open wide.”  
  
Keith's eyes widened in horror as he realised what this Galra wanted from him, he pressed his lips together as he drew close enough that the tip brushed his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, shaking his head quickly. Finally the Galra had enough, he grabbed a handful of Keith's hair and yanked his head back to an almost painful angle. Keith made a strangled sound of pain and fear as thick, slightly hairy fingers were shoved roughly between his lips. He retched when they touched the back of his throat, eyes watering when the Galra pressed hard against his tongue.  
  
“Not even any fangs. You are a strange one.” He muttered curiously, “Anyway, bite me and I'll cut off one of your hands, you understand?”  
  
Keith groaned, struggling uselessly as the big creature pressed against him. He could do nothing but gag when his cock was forced down his throat. He clenched his hands into fists and tried not to think.  
  
Afterwards Keith remained slumped against the back wall of his cell, eyes empty, semen dripping down his chin as the Galra cleaned himself up with a satisfied sigh, “With a bit of training you could be really good,” He smirked, looking back at Keith, “I'm sure we'll see plenty more of each other.”  
  
With that he left. Keith stared into nothingness, his chest rising and falling shakily. A single tear slid down his cheek, falling into his lap but he barely noticed.  
  
XXX  
  
“Shiro, we're approaching the prison vessel.”   
  
Pidge's voice jerked Shiro out of his half-asleep state. He yawned and sat up, looking out the eyes of the green lion. Before them was a huge ship, lights sparkling like stars in the void of space. Gleaming metal flashing in the light from a distant sun. Shiro put his elbow on the back Pidge's seat and scanned the area for smaller ships.   
  
“They seem to be heading towards that planet, we'd better get you on there before they realise we're here.” Pidge punched in a few buttons and the green lion disappeared. Together they flew the rest of the way in silence. Fear clutched at Shiro's gut, tension sitting firmly between his shoulder blades. He rolled them nervously as Pidge came in to land close to a hatch on the ships body. She sighed shakily before turning to Shiro, “Now it's your turn.”  
  
Shiro nodded, “Wait for us but if we're longer than an hour, get out of here.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“Pidge, you can't help us on your own. Go back to the others if we're not back.”  
  
Pidge swallowed and nodded, “Yeah...ok. Just...bring him home,”  
  
Shiro smiled, “I will.”  
  
XXX  
  
Keith had stopped screaming a while ago. He lay in a pile of limbs, blood trickling down the side of his face, eyes glazed and unfocussed. His hair was matted around his face, stuck together with blood, sweat and tears. He shook violently, body covered in layers of bruises, varying in colour and giving him a patchwork appearance. He swallowed and tasted copper, eyes sliding half-closed as hands took hold of him, hauling him up into a sitting position. More hands grasped at him, ripping off his shirt, fingers dug painfully into the back of his neck as he was shoved forward. His forehead hitting the floor. Fingers dug bruises into his hips as his legs were spread. He was barely conscious, the drugs working their way through his blood system even as people spoke around him.   
  
His legs were opened, furred fingers and long nails digging deep into his thighs. Keith looked down at the metal floor between his twisted fingers, his mind drifting to somewhere far, far away. Somewhere where Shiro returned his feelings, where they could hold hands and watch sunsets together.  
  
A sharp slap brought his mind careening back to reality, he gasped, feeling a hot body seated between his legs, something large and intrusive was pushing inside him. He groaned, turning his head away but a hand grabbed his jaw and forced it open, “C'mon half-breed, open up like a good boy. Maybe we'll reward you if you're nice.”  
  
Keith choked when the cock was shoved down his throat, gagging around it. He tried to lift his hands to push it away but he was pinned down beneath the two heavy bodies. He was too weak. He didn't know how long it had been going on but he was visited frequently by Galra, once word got out that they were free to use him. Keith was so bruised and battered he could hardly move most nights, preferring to curl up in a corner and hope he was left alone for a few more hours. Very soon he grew used to it. He would try to avoid actively participating whenever he could, that was until someone stopped giving him the drugs. Without them his reality became much harsher, his aches and pains came back in full force. He would lie awake at night, muscles and bones in agony. He soon got the shakes, his flesh started to crawl until he was scratching at it to make it stop. He sweat so heavily he soaked through his shirt. He was plagued by headaches and vomited up what little he was able to eat.  
  
Finally, after days of torture the female arrived again, she watched him from beneath her hood and crooned, “Such a poor child. Are you in pain, my dear?” Keith shuddered, curling into a ball and tried to ignore her, “Not to worry, we have what you want.”A chill ran down Keith's spine, he turned, peering up at her through dark, sweat-drenched hair. Beside her was a Galra male, burly with thicker hair than usual.   
  
He held out his hand where a syringe of golden liquid shone in the dim light. Saliva filled Keith's mouth, he swallowed it back and started to drag himself forward, one hand reaching for his prize. Just as his finger tips brushed the needle it was withdrawn. Keith cried out in desperation, twitching as he tried to fight to get it back. Several robotic guards snatched at his arms, holding him still. He thrashed violently, a burst of sudden energy filling him after having his only escape ripped so brutally from his fingers.  
  
“Ah, ah. Calm yourself, you may have what it is he holds but only if you give him what he wants in return.” The witch smirked as Keith went still, panting heavily as he looked up at the male, “Come now, you do want this, don't you?”

 

The robots released Keith's arms and he stared at the Galra for a moment before crawling sluggishly closer, “Please...” He muttered, voice cracked and broken. His dried lips split, he licked away the blood and fixed his eyes on the Galra. He reached up with shaking hands, fingers prying at the Galra's belt, “ _Please_...” he whispered again, finally freeing his erection. He didn't think when he leaned forward and wrapped his lips around the purple head. He didn't think of anything except making sure he pleased the Galra enough to get his fix. It was all he wanted. He needed it. It was the only thing keeping him alive.  
  
“Good boy,” The witch's voice faded as fingers found Keith's dirty hair and held on tightly.  
  
As the Galra fucked his face, Keith heard himself moaning. As if he was actually enjoying it. He frowned, fingers tightening on the Galra's pants, hands trembling as the strange, alien cock was thrust down his throat. He ignored the rush of hot blood that spread downwards, he pretended that his own cock wasn't twitching in interest every time the Galra moaned. It was sick. Twisted. He knew that but he needed those drugs. If he didn't get them he was sure he'd die and that wasn't an option. He had to stay alive for Shiro. The drugs were the only thing getting him through this, he had no choice. He closed his eyes, running his fingers up the Galra's thighs, his touch gentle and not at all like the punches and kicks he had thrown around before. He moaned, the pointed head of the cock in his mouth drawing away until the tip rested against his lower lip. He looked up, his vision wavering. The fingers in his hair tightened, pushing him closer again, he closed his eyes and let it slide between his lips, tongue flicking up over it's ridged length.  
  
When the Galra came Keith swallowed it up, eagerly licking at the salty residue as it was drawn from his mouth. Then the Galra was backing away, pulling up his pants. Keith watched, panic rising, “Please...c-can I...? I need...” He reached, touching the Galra's thigh again but a boot connected with his ribs, driving the air from his lungs.  
  
“Filthy whore, get your hands off of me.” The Galra snapped, staring at Keith as he clutched at his side, breath heaving painfully, “Here's your reward although you need some real training. I'm sure Zarkon'll know the best way to do that.” The Galra smirked, dropping the golden vial to the floor.   
  
Keith closed his eyes, ignoring the few errant tears that slid down his face at those memories. The two Galra started to move in unison. He was used, broken and all he could think about was Shiro.   
  
XXX  
  
Shiro dropped quietly down from the hatch he'd crawled through, landing lightly on his feet before searching the area for enemies. When he made sure the coast was clear he found a niche to hide himself in while he brought up a holographic map of the ship, helpfully provided by Pidge. Keith's location was marked by a red dot. Shiro took a breath and started to make his way towards it.   
  
The corridors were quiet as he moved, hyper aware of the sound his heavy breathing made in the dead silence. It was eerie, as if the entire ship had just been abandoned, but Shiro knew it hadn't. There were plenty of life signs on the ship, he just wasn't sure where they had all gone. He stalked the corridors, taking the turns he needed, his anxiety rising rapidly. His chest felt too tight and as he reached the cell in which Keith was supposed to be he realised why it was so dead. It was a trap.  
  
Pain arched down Shiro's spine before he could get the doors open, he jerked, falling to his knees. Deep laughter echoed down the corridor as Shrio turned sluggishly, trying to raise his hand in defence. But a Galra stood before him, backed up by at least twenty guards. The Galra stepped forward and lifted a boot, slamming it violently between Shiro's eyes. He slumped, consciousness fleeing.  
  
He came around with a groan, head aching and arms numb. He forced his eyes open and peered through his fringe to see that he was on the floor of a large room, overlooking the planet they were orbiting. He shifted, groaning as pain lanced down his arms. They were chained firmly behind his back, heavy metal digging painfully into his wrists.   
  
“Ah, our guest awakens.”  
  
Shiro turned to see a Galra female standing not too far away, he could see her smirking beneath the darkness of her hood. At her sides, like guards, stood two masked figures. Something dark curled in Shiro's gut, some flicker of recognition before he was once again distracted by a thud. He turned to his left to see two guards drop a heap of rags onto the floor, it twitched and Shiro realised that it was a person, “K-Keith?” He wheezed, struggling to his knees, ignoring the pain that flared down his back, “Keith! Keith answer me!” He tried to shift forward but strong hands grabbed at him, holding him still. He struggled but his head was still spinning and he wasn't yet strong enough. The figure slowly uncurled itself, lifting its head to reveal a too-thin face painted with bruises.  
  
“Sh-Shiro?” Keith's voice slurred, he pulled himself onto all fours, tears springing to his eyes, “Shiro. Y-You came...”  
  
“I'd never leave you.” Shiro replied, forcing a weak smile as he noted the damage. His fingers were twisted oddly, obviously broken and not set properly. His face was spattered with blood, dirt smeared one cheek and Keith lifted a shaking hand to wipe it away. He looked drawn, painfully thin. Shiro's chest ached, “What've they done to you?”  
  
Keith seemed to either not hear the question or ignore it, “What're you doing here?” He asked thickly, trying to move closer but he was held back by the guards, “You...idiot...You walked straight into their trap.” He hung his head.  
  
“Enough.” The female Galra's voice echoed through the large room, “I believe it is time we began celebrating this heart-warming reunion.” She smiled and snapped her fingers, the doors opened and several Galra officers entered, all smiling as if their birthdays had come early.  
  
Shiro watched with mounting horror as they surrounded Keith like a pack of wolves hungry for prey, his eyes widened as Keith was manhandled onto his back. He watched, terror sitting uncomfortably in his gut as his legs were lifted. Keith lay there, eyes on the ceiling, “K-Keith...Keith no!”  
  
Keith curled his hands into fists, it took a monumental burst of strength to lift his arm and aim a punch at the Galra's face. The Galra fell back, cursing viciously as Keith rolled over and began scrabbling his way frantically towards Shiro. He didn't care what happened to him but he refused to let Shiro witness his weaknesses. Someone grabbed his ankle, dragging him back into the mass of bodies, “Shiro!” Keith screamed, arm reaching.  
  
“Keith! No! Let him go!” Shiro started to struggle against his own captors, with his hands tied he was unable to move freely but he tried. He lashed out with his foot, connecting with one of his captors but several more moved forward to hold him, “Let go of him! You bastards! Keith! KEITH!”   
  
Keith tried to throw another punch but a Galra pinned him by the wrists, he arched his back, hissing, spitting and cursing as he listened to Shiro scream his name. He couldn't let Shiro see him like this. He couldn't. A fist connected with his jaw, causing his head to spin. He went limp, stunned by the impact and it gave the Galra enough time to force him into position. The Galra gripped his legs, lifting them up and making his intentions painfully clear. Keith tipped his aching head back, all the fight draining out of him.   
  
Shiro's lips parted, watching the horrific scene with wide eyes. Keith moaned, a sound Shiro had had dreams about but the noise only sickened him. He looked away, glaring at the floor, unable to stop listening. Keith was panting, muttering under his breath, he could hear the steady slap of skin against skin.   
  
“Shiro...” Keith's voice broke and it forced Shiro's eyes to lift, he saw him lying on his back, head tilted back at what must have been an awkward angel. Their eyes met and Keith reached for him, broken fingers grasping desperately at air, “I...I'm sorry...” He whispered, eyes closing as his hand fell back to the floor.   
  
“No. No. Let him go! I'll do anything you want just stop!” Shiro struggled against the chains, causing them to cut deep into his wrists. Cool, metal fingers dug deep into his shoulders, “What do you want from us?!” He cried suddenly, turning to the witch who stood as still as a statue, watching impassively.   
  
“We already have what we wanted.”  
  
Shiro swallowed, head dropping low, “You did this to...to capture me? Then you don't need him anymore. You can let him go.”  
  
“And why would we do that? Our men have found a pretty little plaything, they wouldn't be happy if we simply let him go now. No, he belongs to us.”  
  
“How...how did you know we'd come for him?”

 

The witch laughed, a sound that caused all the hairs on Shiro's body to stand on end, “Because your connection is strong.” When Shiro gave her a confused look she elaborated, “He loves you, I heard your name in his mind.”  
  
Shiro looked back at Keith as the Galra fucking him pulled back with a satisfied grunt, he dropped Keith's legs and rose. Another soon took his place. Deep down Shiro had known for a while, Keith had always worshipped him. Adam had teased him about it on more than one occasion in those long ago days before his last disastrous mission. He had pushed the idea away, Keith wasn't in love with him, that was a stupid idea. He was just a kid. Shiro shivered, even though it wasn't cold. All this was his fault. He'd let Keith get too involved, he'd led him to this point. He hung his head and closed his eyes, “What-whatever it is you want from me, you can have it.” Shiro took a breath and opened his eyes, watching Keith on his knees, hands crawling over his fragile looking body. It was his fault, “On one condition,”  
  
The witch smiled, “You are in no position to be making any demands,”  
  
“Maybe not but I can make this hard or easy for you, if you keep him here then I'll fight. Whatever you do I'll resist until there's nothing left. If...if you let him go, I'll do everything you want without struggling.” Shiro swallowed, it was a lame bargaining chip but it was all he had, “Just...stop hurting him. He's had enough.”  
  
The Galra around Keith let him fall into a heap on the floor, he lay there and met Shiro's gaze. They stared at each other while the witch deliberated, “Perhaps-” She was cut off by a massive explosion that rocked the ship. Shiro fell sideways as his captors fell like dominoes. Chaos erupted as several dark figures came charging into the ships helm.   
  
Keith lay still, focussing on his breathing as people screamed and fought around him. He had no strength left anymore. His eyes drifted closed and he let his consciousness flee.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Shiro, you really gotta eat something.”  
  
Shiro looked up at Hunk who stood in the hallway with a sympathetic look in his eyes, “I will...just not that hungry right now,” He tried to smile but it fell short and slid all too quickly from his face. He was sat outside Keith's healing pod, waiting for him to regain consciousness.  
  
“He'll be fine, he's one of the strongest people I know,”  
  
Shiro did smile then, “Thanks,”  
  
Hunk returned his expression and walked away, when he was gone Shiro drew his legs closer to himself and went back to his silent vigil. He thought back to the early days, not long after he'd first met Keith.  
  
 _There was a knock on their apartment door, “Adam? Get that for me.” Shiro called from the shower, he heard the door opening and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist. He went into the living-kitchen area and saw Adam at the door, arching an eyebrow at him, “Who is it?”_

 

“ _Your stray cat,” Adam sighed, shaking his head a little before moving away to grab his coat.  
  
It took Shiro a moment to realise he was talking about the scrawny orphan he'd sort of taken under his wing, “Keith! What're you doing here?”  
  
Keith folded his arms across his chest defensively, eyeing Adam warily, “I'm here to see you,”  
  
“Ok, Shiro, I've got to go. I'll see you later,” Adam passed Shiro and paused, his hand lingering on his arm. Shiro leaned close and pressed a kiss to his mouth.  
  
“Yeah, see you later,” He smiled.  
“Reservations at seven, don't forget!” Adam waved good bye, smirking over his shoulder before he moved past Keith and into the hall.  
  
Shiro chuckled to himself, finally looking back at the boy in his doorway. Keith was staring after Adam with wide eyes, lips parted and cheeks flushed, “So, what do you want?”  
  
“...are you and that guy, like, together?” Keith asked quietly, meeting Shiro's eyes again.  
  
“Yeah, we are. But that's not why you came, is it?” Shiro stepped aside, gesturing to his apartment, “Come in, we can talk.”  
  
Keith seemed to take a moment to process what he'd seen, Shiro thought that maybe he had never seen two guys together before. Keith sat down nervously on one of the sofa's, looking around the apartment, “I've got to get dressed, wait here a minute. Help yourself to any drinks.”  
  
Keith nodded jerkily, face still flushed and hands twisting together in his lap.   
  
_Shiro should have known that the look on Keith's face hadn't been embarrassment at all but jealousy. He should have recognised the growing feelings, put an end to them before they'd taken root. Instead he had ignored it, laughed whenever Adam brought it up; _it's just a childhood crush, he'll get over it_. Maybe if he'd done that then he wouldn't have been the catalyst for Keith to involve himself in the twisted games of the Galra. If he and Keith hadn't been so close none of this would have happened. He put his face in his trembling hand, rubbing at his eyes. The look on Keith's face, the sound of his cracked voice would haunt Shiro until the end of his days. It was too much. He couldn't stop seeing it. Keith had been broken and it was his fault.   
  
Keith was in the healing pod for days, Coran explained that the injuries he had sustained had been much greater than they had first anticipated but he would recover. Shiro spent nearly all his time waiting, staring at Keith's peaceful face as he remained in stasis. He fell asleep there occasionally, woken up by a tired looking Pidge as she finally went to bed after working on another of her projects. Sometimes Coran would come by and convince him to go eat something or go to his room and rest but whenever Shiro did his nightmares were so terrible he woke bathed in sweat and heart pounding.  
  
Days passed, the team was drifting around the castle; trapped in a state of uncertain hope. Keith's absence had been felt by everyone. Shiro remained by Keith's pod, eating only when someone reminded him.   
  
It had been the Blades who had come for them, their mole alerting them to the situation. The rest of the Voltron team had followed, joining forces to rescue them. When Shiro had been freed from his restraints he had run to Keith's side, falling to his knees and lifting him into his arms. He weighed almost nothing, the realisation was painful. As he stared down into Keith's face, felt his warmth against his chest he bowed his head and hid his pain from the others. The witch had disappeared with her strange followers. When the entire deck had been cleared the others had stood around Shiro and Keith, heads bowed in respect as they waited, “I'm here now, I've got you,” Shiro had muttered, rising with Keith in his arms, “You're safe,”  
  
Finally Keith emerged from stasis, he almost collapsed when the pod released him but Shiro was there to catch him. The pod had healed his physical injuries but he was still weak from lack of food. His body was scarred, his back a mess of lash marks, his knuckles rough with scar tissue. Keith opened his eyes, held in Shiro's arms, “Shiro...” He muttered, letting his head fall against his chest.  
  
“I'm here. You're home now.” Shiro managed through the lump in his throat, “You're safe,”  
  
Keith's trembling hands curled into fists against Shiro's chest, he pressed his forehead harder against his firm muscles and breathed deep. Shiro smelt of old shampoo and sweat, the same way he did after a hard bout of training. He grit his teeth and forced back the urge to cry, even if this was a cruel dream he wanted to savour it. Shiro wrapped him in his strong arms, pressed them closer together and Keith drew in a sharp breath. They had always been close, touching was just second nature to them but something in the way Shiro balled his fists up at the base of Keith's spine told him something had changed. Shiro's nose brushed Keith's throat, hot air was blown against his skin as Shiro let out a long, slow breath. Keith half-opened his eyes, listening to Shiro's strong, steady heartbeat. It was comforting, something he hadn't heard in too long, “H-How long?” he managed to ask after a few beats of silence.  
  
“Months.” Shiro answered, his voice holding a delicate edge as if at any moment it would break, “Months Keith.”  
  
Keith took a breath, letting his eyes fall closed, “Thank you...”

 

“For what?”

  
“For...for finding me. For coming for me even though it was a trap.”

 

Reluctantly Shiro drew away, putting his hands on Keith's thin shoulders. His thumb rested against his neck unwittingly moving up and down, “Keith...I...I'd never leave you there. None of us would. You're part of the team, you're...family.”

 

Keith met Shiro's eyes, his own dark and missing too much of his previous fire, “Family?”

 

“Yeah,” Shiro smiled and drew him close again, hands sliding further up his back.  
  
Keith let Shiro hold him a moment longer until something beneath his skin began to crawl, as if the Galra had implanted tiny burrowing insects beneath it. He shuddered, gritting his teeth but it wasn't long until he felt as if he wanted to burst out of his skin, shed it just to escape Shiro's suffocating grip. He pushed against his chest, falling back a few steps with a gasp, “I...I'm sorry...I can't...”

 

Shiro's shocked expression smoothed out, “Yeah, I get it. I'm sorry for being so pushy,”  
  
Keith could only look away, one arm curled around his waist and a flush crossing his cheeks. Shiro found himself staring, his own cheeks warming, he lifted his hand, almost reaching out but Keith glanced at him and he let it fall back to his side awkwardly, “So...uh...I'm kinda hungry...” Keith muttered, averting his eyes again from Shiro's intense gaze. It was uncomfortable, Shiro had never stared at him so much before.   
  
“Oh...oh yeah, sure! Let's go tell the others you're awake and then get some food.” Shiro rubbed at the back of his head awkwardly before they both started to make their way out of the room.  
  
When Keith entered the lounge he found himself the abrupt centre of attention, everyone rose and gathered around him. All talking at once until their voices melded together into one nonsensical rush of sound. Keith was hemmed in. Trapped. His chest tightened, his heart beating double time. He tried to back away but they only drew closer, asking him questions, talking over each other. Their faces, once familiar and friendly; well loved, were strange and frightening. He didn't know these people. He had been gone for too long.   
  
“Keith? Keith?”

  
Keith's chest tightened until he couldn't breathe, he grabbed at his chest, eyes wide and unseeing as his vision darkened around the edges. He felt himself slip away, falling and falling down an unending tunnel with no end in sight. He fell to his knees, causing his friends to back off.  
  
“Back off, he's having a panic attack!” Shiro looked at Lance who was frowning around at them all, “He'll be ok in a minute,” Lance knelt down in front of Keith, reaching out and picking up his hand gently. All his movements were slow and careful, giving Keith plenty of time to jerk away if he had to, “Hey, Keith, it's just Lance. You know, the guy you hate?” Keith blinked at him, recognition dawning slowly in his eyes, “That's it, you're doing great. Hey, look at me. Can you feel me breathing?” Keith managed a jerky sort of nod, “Then copy me. Deep breath in and out, nice and slow.” Lance demonstrated a few times before Keith slowly began to imitate him, “You're doing great, man. Just keep going, yeah?”  
  
Shiro watched from the sidelines feeling utterly helpless, he chewed on his cheek, wondering how he'd not considered the possibility of Keith freaking out like this. He had been so stupid. Of course the last time he'd been around so many people they'd raped him. He groaned and rubbed at his forehead as Lance finally managed to calm Keith down and get his breathing back to normal. Then Lance backed off to a safe distance, giving Keith breathing room. Everyone wore a solemn look on their faces, after the joy of seeing Keith up and about. Lance looked over his friend and rival, noting the scar around his throat from deep electrical burns. His wrists were equally as bad, mangled skin replacing what had once been smooth and unblemished. Lance had never asked but he had noticed Shiro had a similar pair circling his own wrists, along with old sword wounds and what were obviously lash marks. No one had asked and Shiro wasn't forthcoming with an explanation.

  
Shiro moved a step closer to Keith who lifted his head to look at him, “Hey, you hungry?”  
  
Keith licked his dry lips before lifting his hand reluctantly, “Yeah,” He muttered, allowing Shiro to take his hand and haul him to his feet. He swayed but Shiro wrapped an arm firmly around his waist. Keith could feel everyone watching him, humiliation colouring his cheeks, “Don't you guys have something better to be doing than gawking at me?” He snapped, unable to help the rush of irritation.   
  
Pidge flinched and looked away, “I'm...just glad you're home, Keith,” She muttered before scuttling away back to her station. Hunk nodded his agreement, lifted a hand as if to touch Keith but backed off when Keith flinched like he'd raised his fist. Lance simply turned away without a word.   
  
Allura and Coran shared uncertain looks between them, “We're _all_ glad you're back,” Allura said finally, “You were missed,”  
  
Keith was slightly taken aback by that but he was unable to formulate a response before they left him and Shiro alone at the door. Shiro tightened his grip around Keith's waist, fingers pressing against bruises that didn't exist anymore. Keith closed his eyes, a deep, twisted part of him wanting Shiro to press harder, to make it _hurt_. His eyes snapped open and he gasped, pressing his hand against his mouth with a frown.  
  
“Hey, Keith, you ok?”  
  
Keith swallowed back bile, “Y-yeah...I just...kinda tired...”  
  
“Yeah, c'mon then, let's get you some food-”  
  
“No. No...I just...wanna go back to my room.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Shiro searched his face with a little frown of concern, Keith nodded to his feet, “Well, ok then. Come on,” He guided Keith away, keeping them close enough that their hips brushed. Keith felt warm, uncomfortable yet he wanted to move closer. He wanted to see how Shrio would react if he pressed up against him. Keith shoved that thought aside, it was wrong. After what had happened to him he would've thought it would be the opposite. But no, Shiro's touch ignited a fire within him that he couldn't quench. He wanted Shiro to tie him to the bed, hold him down and fuck him until he was incoherent. Keith shivered, glancing up at Shiro and then away again, unable to really process where these feelings were coming from.   
  
They reached Keith's room and went inside, Shiro staying close since Keith's legs still weren't entirely dependable. Shiro helped him sit down on the bed and turned away, Keith reached out without thinking and grabbed his sleeve, “Wait. Can...can you stay?” He asked quietly, lowering his head.  
  
Shiro sighed, “Yeah, I can,” Keith relaxed his grip and let his fingers slide away. He fell sideways onto the bed and curled up. Shiro moved to sit at his side but Keith grabbed him by the collar and yanked him down roughly, “Woah! Hey, Keith wha-”

 

“Shut up and kiss me,” Keith whispered, eyes wide and sparkling weirdly in the dim light of the room, “I...I need you, Shiro.”  
  
Shiro swallowed, reaching up to unlock Keith's fingers from his collar, “Look, Keith-”

 

“I know. I know you saw what...what they did...And I...I get that you probably don't wanna-but I-I want...I want something good. Something...something that'll take away those memories. _Please_ , Shiro, I need you.”  
  
Shiro stared down at Keith, hair spread about on the crisp white linen, eyes full of hopeless desperation. He opened his mouth to respond but his voice got stuck in his throat, Keith's fingers wound their way back into his collar and he found himself being drawn down in a surprisingly strong grip, “Keith...we shouldn't...”  
  
“Fuck. I don't care. Help me forget about them.”  
  
“Keith-” Shiro sighed as their lips brushed, he closed his eyes and imagined, just for a moment, what could be before he took a breath and pulled away, “You're still in recovery...we can talk about this when you're better.” He sat up, letting Keith's hand fall back to his side with a muffled thud. Keith rolled over, curling in on himself, “I can stay if you still want me to,” Shiro looked down at his knees, his chest felt tight with guilt but he knew he couldn't take advantage of Keith like that. Keith was vulnerable, he was looking for a way out. Shiro wouldn't be able to call himself a friend if he took the opportunity Keith was offering him. Despite rationalising it, Shiro looked back at his friend and felt a swoop of desire, he hadn't realised how strong his feelings had grown over their time since he'd been rescued. Watching Keith grow up from boy to man had been an experience in itself, now he was just noticing things about him that weren't there before. He wasn't a kid anymore. He was an adult. Shiro reached out and placed his hand on Keith's arm, he rested it there, waiting for Keith to pull away. Of all the times Keith could have come to him and tell him he wanted him, it had to be the time Shiro had to say no. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes.  
  
“You can go...if...if you wanna,”  
  
Shiro looked up, seeing Keith peering at him owlishly through his hair, “If that's what you want...”  
  
“Shiro I-” Keith hesitated, frowning a moment before he sucked in a breath and sat up, “I know you think I'm...I'm...dirty for what I did back in that place but...but I didn't have a choice. I had to do it. I had to stop them from killing me.”  
  
Shiro's breath turned shaky, “Keith, what happened was not your fault. You're not dirty for trying to survive. I...I had to do some...really bad stuff to get through too, I know what you went through.”  
  
“If I wasn't dirty then why'd you say no? When was the last time you got laid? I can help you. Please, let me-” Keith moved closer while he spoke, hands shaking as he tried to reach for Shiro's belt, “They...taught me a lot. I...I did some stuff with other guys before all this went down but...but now I've had more practice. I can make you feel good-”  
  
“Keith, stop!” Shiro yelped, jerking back and prying Keith's hands off of him again, “Look, it has nothing to do with you being broken or wrong or whatever. This is about you. About your recovery. Us...we...can't. Not now. It's wrong, Keith. I won't hurt you like they did.”  
  
Keith stared at him with wide eyes, the look of a scolded child, “You don't want me? Is it...is it because of Adam? Because of what he did?”  
  
“Keith! Drop it. Now.” Shiro snapped, rising and running a hand through his hair, “Damn it, Adam has nothing to do with this and you know it. We ended it before the Kerberos mission, as you know we did.” Shiro took a breath, calming himself, “Let's just...get some rest. You're still recovering.”  
  
Keith fixed Shiro with a distant stare, “Adam never liked me. He knew I was in love with you,”  
  
Shiro flinched, “Just...stop, Keith. The past is in the past, Adam and I are over...he probably thinks I'm dead. And he didn't know you, it was never about like or dislike. Ok? Stop thinking about it and sleep.”  
  
“You still love him, don't you?” Keith's voice was quiet, the fight leaving him as his shoulders slumped, “I mean, can't blame you. You don't need a fuck up like me. When we get back to earth I'm sure you could fix it with him.”  
  
Shiro closed his eyes, “What Adam and I had...it was...special and nothing will ever change that. If we ever go back to earth it won't change the fact that we broke up. We did it for a reason, we just...weren't that compatible.” He tried to smile but Keith seemed unconvinced, “And you're not a fuck-up, Keith, you never were and you never will be. You were just a kid back then, I couldn't think of you as anything more than that.”  
  
Keith curled up, drawing his long legs closer to his body, “Shiro...I...”  
  
“Sleep, Keith. We can talk about this more when you're better,” Shiro moved to the door, pressing the button so it opened with a soft hiss. Without looking back he left.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_There was a heavy weight on top of him, pressing down against his hips. A hand slid up the inside of his bare thigh as he was tilted back against the hard surface of a desk, lips brushed his throat as he let his head fall back and closed his eyes. His hands, cuffed to the sides of the desk, lay limp and twitching. Rough fingers curled around his aching cock, forcing a pitiful whine from his cracked, dry lips. He arched against the body above him as it thrust into him wildly.  
  
“Hey, when's it my go?”  
  
“Ugh, wait your turn will you? I'm not-_fuck _-done yet.”  
  
Keith heard their rough voices as if from a distance, he let the pleasure overcome him, drowning in it as one of the only escapes he had. His knees were lifted further, gripped tightly as the desk wobbled underneath the onslaught. Keith moaned, lips parting enough for someone to press slick fingers between his lips. He sucked on them, knowing that if he didn't, he would end up mutilated. His fingers curled into fists, face flushing brightly as he was driven closer and closer-_  
  
Keith woke with a scream. Sweat beading his face and heart pounding in his chest like a jackhammer. He clutched at his blanket, holding on so tightly it tore. He stared wildly around his darkened bedroom, searching the corners for enemies that weren't there.  
  
 _You're home now, you're safe._  
  
Shiro's words came back to him and he took a shuddery breath, trying to calm himself. He bowed his head and sat there, gazing at the shape of his knees through the thin blankets. He was trembling, shaking and sweating still. His chest felt too tight, his skin too uncomfortable. They had been inside him. Multiple times, multiple people. They had ruined him for Shiro, for anyone. How could he ever have thought Shiro would want him? Especially now. They had made him come as many times as he was able to, the pleasure so great it was almost painful. He hated it. He wanted to rip out the tainted parts of him. The parts they had touched and stained with their filthy fingers. He lifted a hand and rubbed at his face, wincing at the memories he would never be rid of. He just wanted to forget, to lose himself again.  
  
Slowly, Keith slid out of bed. He rose on unsteady knees and went to the door, he left his quarters and turned down the hall to the elevator. He went up a floor to the medical bay and crept towards the room where all the medicine was kept. It was dimly lit, only a faint blue glow emanating from lights around the edges of the room. He stepped quietly towards the cupboards and began searching. He didn't know what the boxes of medication said but he did know, vaguely, what he was looking for. He found it, finally, hidden behind a box of strange pills. A box of small vials containing a yellow-gold liquid. He clutched them to his chest and began looking for syringes. He found them in a draw and opened them. His hands shook as he removed one small vial and a syringe, he tried not to break anything as he focussed on removing the little plastic cap and pushing the needle into the vial. He pulled the plunger out and watched the liquid fill it, eyes wide. Finally it was done and he sank down the cupboard he was stood beside and sat on the floor. He needed to forget, just for a while, maybe he'd even be able to sleep with the aid of the drugs. If Shiro wouldn't help him then he'd have to make do.   
  
There was a tiny bite of pain as the needle went into his skin.  
  
Keith came around slowly sprawled on the med bay floor, head cradled in the crook of his arm. A needle lay beside his outstretched hand. There were hands on him. So many hands. But it was too hard to care as his body was lifted, those fingers digging into the flesh of his arms. Someone spoke, there was a low rumble by his ear as he was pressed against a warm chest. Someone was speaking, some nearby glass clinked and another person cursed. Hands took hold of his arm gently, turning it over. Another soft curse, arms holding him tighter before he was lifted into the air.   
Shiro cradled Keith close, the terror he'd felt when he'd seen Keith lying unconscious on the floor had been overwhelming. He still shook even after ascertaining that Keith was alive and breathing.   
  
“Is he ok? What happened?” Lance's wide eyes flicked from Shiro to Keith and back again, warily he edged closer, peering over Shiro's arm to peek at Keith's pale face, “He doesn't look so good, Shiro...”  
  
“Yeah...I know. Lance, go get Allura-”  
  
“Uhh...Shiro? You might wanna take a look at this.”  
  
Shiro turned, dreading whatever it was that Lance had found. Lance lifted his hand, palm up. Sat in it was a used syringe. Dread settled heavily in Shiro's chest as he watched Lance pick up an empty vial, “Damn it, Keith! What the hell were you thinking?” Shiro snapped, glaring down at Keith and holding him even tighter.   
  
“You don't think he was...” Lance trailed off, eyes moving away as he frowned down at the spilt contents of a box of the strange, yellow medication, “You know, trying to kill himself?”  
  
Shiro let out a slow, shaky breath, “No. No he wouldn't...” He trailed off, remembering the pain in Keith's wide eyes, the guilt and the obvious self-hatred. All Keith's life he had been pushed aside, looked over and ignored all because he was a 'problem child'. Reckless, self-serving and sometimes outright self-destructive. It was as if he had spent his early teenage years desperately trying to either kill himself or land himself in jail, and now Shiro looked down at his shadowed eyes, the shape of his ribs beneath the thin material of his shirt. Shiro remembered his own imprisonment under the Galra, being strapped down to a table, jabbed with needles. The screams that had left his mouth, ripping his vocal chords. He flinched, baring his teeth as he pushed aside those memories. He had had his moments, the times when he was tossed back into his cell after a gruelling match. When he'd sit in the darkness, staring at the wall, stained with blood. When he was thinking only of finding something sharp and ending it then and there. He wanted to rob the Galra of their champion, make it his own choice of when to end it. Shiro knew, he understood exactly what would drive a man to try but the thought of Keith having these feelings drove a spike of ice right through his heart, “Whatever it is, we need to get him help.” He rose unsteadily, Lance picking up the rest of the drugs and following him to a bed. Shiro lay Keith down gently and lifted a cover up to his shoulder. He ran fingers through his hair, eyes soft, “Sleep, Keith,” he whispered and watched Keith's eyes flicker before he let out a long, slow sigh.   
  
Lance left them alone to get Allura and Coran, when he returned with them in tow they saw Shiro gripping Keith's limp hand like a life line, “Shiro?” Lance called quietly, watching the man look up and blink at them, “I got them, maybe they know what he took.”  
  
Shiro nodded jerkily, watching as Lance showed them the boxes and empty syringe.  
  
“It's a heavy duty sedative and painkiller,” Coran said, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully, “How much did he take?”  
  
“Looks like he only used one from this box,” Lance shrugged.  
  
“Well, considering he's likely got a stronger constitution than most of you humans it won't be enough to kill him but these are highly addictive. We had better watch him for any sign of dependency,” Allura suggested, eyes on Keith and full of sympathy.  
  
“It is used by the Galra as well...it's from a plant that was wide spread in the Galra empire once upon a time. It's rather popular due to it's numbing affects.” Coran added, “I think we may be a tad late.”  
  
“You mean he's already addicted?” Shiro finally spoke up, worry causing him to frown.  
  
“His bloodstream was full of it when he arrived, Shiro,” Coran sighed, “They were probably using it to control him. Get him addicted and then withhold it until he's desperate enough to do whatever they want.”  
  
Shiro cringed, remembering how Keith had tried to throw himself at him, “So...how do we detox him? Will he be ok?”  
  
“It'll take long time and even then there's always going to be a chance he'll relapse.”  
  
“We need to get him back to his quarters. It sounds harsh but he must be watched at all times, when the drugs have worn off he's going to want more and he will do anything to get them.” Allura sighed.  
  
“I'll watch him.” Shiro looked up at them, “He trusts me.”  
  
“We should take it in turns,” Lance suggested, “I know you want to do it all by yourself, Shiro, but you're going to need to sleep and eat. If we rotate in shifts it'll be easier, right?”  
  
“But I-”  
  
“Shiro, you don't have to do everything alone.” Allura put a hand on his shoulder, eyes on Keith.  
  
“Yeah, I know...Thanks.” Shiro took a breath, bowing his head as he held Keith's hand tightly.   
  
When Keith opened his eyes it was see the ceiling of his room on the Castle of Lions. His mouth was dry, his tongue too thick. He groaned, a headache forming rapidly behind his eyes. He put a hand over them, blocking out the light.  
  
“Keith?”  
  
Shiro's soft voice made his fingers twitch but he didn't move to uncover his eyes.  
  
“Keith, it's me...how're you feeling?”  
  


“Like shit.” Keith groaned, feeling the bed dip as Shiro lowered his weight onto it, “What happened? How'd I get back here?”  
  
“I had to carry you back. We...me and Lance, we found you passed out in the med bay.”  
  
“Oh.” Keith rolled over, curling up on himself. He gripped his inner arm where a dark bruise was already forming, he squeezed, allowing the pain to focus his mind.   
  
“Keith...” Shiro hesitated, eyeing Keith's shaking form warily before taking the plunge, “I get it. I really do. I've been where you are now, trust me. I know what it's like...to want everything to end. To...” He took a breath, “But you've got to remember that-”  
  
“Just shut up, Shiro.” Keith snapped, his voice thick with emotion, “I don't wanna hear it. You don't know, you think you do but you can't understand what I went through. You weren't there.”   
  
“No, I wasn't but I was a prisoner too.”  
  
“They made you fight. They didn't take every last shred of dignity you had left and rip it from you. You didn't end up liki-” Keith cut himself off, breathing shakily as he curled his hands into fists, “It doesn't matter. I'm not a suicide risk, Shiro.”  
  
Shiro is quiet for so long Keith wonders if he's left but then he shifts and clears his throat, “I did like it.” He whispers, catching Keith's attention enough to have him slowly turn to look at him. Shiro's sat with his arms on his knees, hands clenched into fists and frowning at the floor between his feet, “I liked the fighting. I liked the power it gave me every time I beat an opponent...the number of people I...killed. Keith, even the arena can break a man.” Keith saw his hands shaking, something that happened often but not to this degree, “It was a rush, you know? Every time I survived, every time my blade sank into another body. It was like...I wasn't the same person. They took who I was and turned me into something else, a killing machine. I was their champion, I'd be their champion until someone bigger, stronger came along to defeat me. There were times when I'd see myself in the reflection of my blade and...and I wouldn't recognise myself. I thought about ending it, just throwing down my weapon and giving up but I couldn't. I couldn't give up because I had to get home. I had to live so that I could see you and Adam and Matt and Sam Holt again. Our situations may have been different but the outcome is likely the same.”  
  
Keith sat up, staring at Shiro's bowed head and trembling body. Slowly he moved closer, his own hands trembling so badly he could hardly get a grip on Shiro's shoulder. He crawled to his side and behind him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He buried his face between Shiro's shoulder blades and clenching his hands into fists around his front.  
  
“There's no shame in it, Keith. You did what you had to do to survive.” Shiro lifted his own hands and covered Keith's with own, he felt a few drops of liquid against the back of his neck but chose not say anything, “We both did.” The floor swam as his vision blurred, he swallowed back the tears. It was better Keith didn't see him break down, he needed Shiro to be strong now.   
  
“I...I just...I just want...I want to forget...I don't wanna remember them. S-Shiro...H-help me...”  
  
“I'm trying but I'm not a professional, I...I don't even know how to help you.” Shiro let out a short, humourless laugh, “I can't even help myself.”  
  
Keith closed his eyes and sighed, slowly he pulled away, rubbing at his eyes and sniffing, “I told you what you can do to help.” He muttered, “But I'm...I'm not good enough for you. Was I ever?”  
  
“Keith, you were way too young back on earth.” Shiro reminded him, looking up as Keith settled himself at his side.  
  
“And now?”  
  
Shiro had to look away, “Now...I...”  
  
“Now, I'm too broken. Damaged goods, right? It's why they did it you know.” Keith took a shaky breath, closing his eyes, “They ruined me because they knew I loved you. Why would you want the Galra's sloppy seconds?”  
  
“Keith, don't talk like that. None of that's true.”  
  
“Oh yeah? Then why won't you even look me in the eye anymore? I've always been a disappointment. To my dad, my teachers, every foster parent I ever had. And now...now I'm a disappointment to you. You spent all that time training me, helping me only...only when it came down to it I just gave in. I didn't fight. I let them rape me. Hell, I _liked_ it. They tortured me and I just...let it happen...I'm pathetic.” Keith started to scratch at his arm, where the needle went in. He took a breath, frowning at the opposite wall, His nails digging in deeper and deeper until he started to draw blood, “It's not like I can't blame you. Everyone gives up on me eventually, it just took you longer than most to realise what I really am. I...I get it...I just...don't understand why you're...here now...and I...I can't...”  
  
Shiro saw what he was doing to himself and grabbed his hands tightly in his own, Keith twitched but didn't move away, “Keith, stop. None of that is true. Your dad...I didn't know him but I'm sure he loved you. You had issues, that's all and we all have issues. In some form or another, we're all broken.” Gently he drew Keith closer until he could wrap his arms around him, “Keith, whatever they told you; it's all wrong. Everyone on this ship cares about you...I... _I_ care about you. We all love you, we're family.”  
  
“I've...never had a family, not really. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean.”  
  
“Then let us teach you.”  
  
“Shiro...” Keith closed his eyes trembling in Shiro's arms, “I can't do it. It's too hard.”  
  
“Then we'll do it together; you're not alone.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Will update tags as soon as this chapters uploaded.

Shiro spent the night lying on the floor beside Keith's bed. He had a pillow and a thin blanket, luckily the ambient temperature of the room was pleasant. He lay there in the dark, listening to Keith's breathing on high alert for any untoward sound. He had one arm behind his head, the other resting on top of the covers. He had no intention of sleeping but eventually his eyes grew too heavy and he felt himself sinking despite how much he fought it.   
  
Just as he was on the very cusp of sleep he heard a faint groan, Shiro's eyes snapped open and adrenalin surged through his muscles, his fingers twitched and he held his breath waiting to hear more. After a long moment of silence Shiro started to put it down to his imagination but just as he was about to roll over he heard it again. Keith shifted under his blankets, breathing heavy. Shiro held himself still, uncertain if he would need to wake him up or not. Keith made another noise, a soft little sigh and then there was more shifting. It took a moment for it to register but when it did Shiro's eyes widened in the dark, he turned his head slowly to see Keith's body sprawled on the bed. He was still asleep but Shiro's eyes traced the shadows patterning his chest, the deep 'V' shape of his groin and the dark hair just below. The blankets covered the rest but Shiro's imagination could easily fill it in for him. He licked his lips, hating himself. Keith's hand fell over the side of the bed, almost brushing Shiro's cheek. His fingers curled and uncurled and he moaned again, a little louder this time. His hips moved, legs parting slowly. Shiro wondered who he was dreaming of, who could make Keith sound like that?   
  
Keith's breathing grew heavier, his thighs trembling. Shiro could see a small frown crease his brows as his cock tented the sheets. There was a damp spot staining the fabric, Keith's hips moving as if there was really someone between them. Shiro closed his eyes tightly, lifting his hands to press the palms hard against them until all he could see were white flashes of light. Keith grew louder, Shiro swallowed back the urge to get up and run from the room.   
  
Shiro held himself absolutely still, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes as Keith's dream continued. Then he heard a soft, breathy whisper; “ _N-no..._ ” Shiro risked sitting up, he frowned over at Keith's twisted face and saw pain there, “No...p-please...don't.”  
  
Shiro let his breath out in a rush before pulling himself closer, gently he touched Keith's shoulder, “Keith, it's ok. You're just dreaming.”  
  
Keith's head jerked to one side, hair falling across his cheek. His lips pulled back to bare his teeth as his hands fisted in the sheet, “Please...please...H-help...help me...”  
  
Shiro reached out, unable to resist the desperation in that voice, he held Keith's hand in his own, “Kieth, wake up. It's a dream.” He shook him gently, feeling how taught his muscles were beneath his hand, “Keith,”  
  
Kieth's breath stuttered, his body shuddering as he gave voice to long, drawn out moan. Shiro felt heat in his face, he swallowed and shifted so that when Keith did wake he wouldn't see his shame. He shook him again, harder this time, “Keith! C'mon, you're having a nightmare!”  
  
Kieth's eyelids flickered before slowly he opened his eyes, a single tear slid down his cheek and landed in his hair, “Sh-Shiro?” he muttered thickly, reaching out with one shaking hand.  
  
“Yeah, it's me,” Shiro smiled, taking Keith's hand and holding it tightly, “You were having a dream.”  
  
Keith closed his eyes again and sank back against the pillow, “She was watching...” He whispered hoarsely, “Watching them fuck me. She was always there...in the background...”  
  
“Who?” Shiro's voice trembled a little, he thought he knew but he needed confirmation.  
  
“The witch. Haggar.” Keith swallowed and tugged Shiro closer, “She knew.” His breathing was still heavy and Shiro could feel Keith's erection against his side. Keith took Shiro's hand and slid it down his body, eyes still closed, “Help me.” He whispered, his voice breaking, “Please, I can't take it.”  
  
“K-Keith...I can't. I can't do that to you...” Shiro swallowed back the lump in his throat and tried to extract his fingers but Keith kept a tight grip on him.  
  
Shiro's touch was like fire in Keith's veins, even the brush of his finger tips against his belly. He felt Shiro try to tug his hand back, likely in disgust, but he held on. His stomach twisted, threatening to evict its meagre contents, but he swallowed it back. He was disgusting, he knew there was something very, very wrong with him but he couldn't stop it. He needed Shiro. He needed him to fuck him, to hold him down, to bruise him and break him. He was a filthy half-breed whore and he would taint Shiro with whatever disease he had that made him need sex so bad, he would infect him too, dirty him with his touch. Perfect, strong, kind and talented Shiro. Keith let out a sob and released Shiro's hand, he rolled over and curled up into a tight ball, “Just...just get out! Leave me alone!” he cried, wrapping his arms over his head, “Please, Shiro. Go.”  
  
Shiro froze, eyes wide at the sudden change in Keith's demeanour, “K-Keith?” He asked but Keith picked up a spare pillow and threw it at him.  
  
“OUT!” He screamed, likely waking up Hunk and Lance in the rooms either side.  
  
Shiro jerked back, hands up when he saw the flash of Galran metal in Keith's hand, “Keith! Ok, I'm leaving! It's ok. Just...calm down.”  
  
Keith gripped his dagger, watching Shiro retreat to the door. It was only after he left and heard people start to bombard him with questions that he fell back to the pillow and buried his face in it to muffle the cries of despair that wanted to rip themselves free of his throat. The Galra had torn everything good he had in his life, tainted even his relationship with Shiro. Keith had nothing left.  
  
Shiro stood outside Keith's door and listened to his sobs, even through the layers of metal he could hear his agony. He closed his eyes as Lance and Hunk stepped out of their rooms to question him, he took a breath and ran shaking fingers through his hair.   
  
“Woah, Shiro, you're bleeding! What happened?” Lance asked, eyes wide and staring at Shiro's neck.  
  
Shiro put his hand to the unnoticed wound and saw red stain his finger tips, “Must've got me when he lunged...” he muttered to himself, awed by Keith's speed despite his emotional turmoil.  
  
“ _Keith_ did that?” Lance's eyes widened, “What the hell did you _do_?!”  
  
“Nothing! I...I didn't do anything. He woke up from a nightmare, freaked out and tried to kill me.”  
  
“Maybe you should get that checked out,” Hunk offered, eyeing Shiro, “And...sit down or something, you look like you're gonna pass out.”  
  
Shiro blinked at him, hands shaking, feeling sweaty and off balance. He nodded numbly and slowly sank down the door, “Yeah...I'll be fine. Just...need a minute.”  
  
“I'm gonna go in there and check on Keith,” Lance said abruptly, worrying his lower lip with his teeth.  
  
“I wouldn't. I think...he needs to be alone for now,” Shiro muttered, rubbing at his tired eyes, “He's pretty messed up.”  
  
“All the more reason not to leave him alone, right?” Hunk shifted, “I mean...he could hurt himself.”  
  
Lance nodded, “Hunk's right and if he doesn't want you in there, he's stuck with us.”   
  
Shiro sighed and moved aside, “Good luck then,”  
  
Keith lay in bed, finger tips running slowly over the Galra symbol on his dagger. His other hand curled around the blade itself, clenching hard enough to cut through the flesh on his fingers. He hissed air through his teeth and closed his eyes tightly, his entire body tense and trembling as he felt his own blood slide across his skin. He pulled the blade across his hand, pressing his face into the pillow to muffle his groan of pain. Then he let his fingers uncurl, he relaxed with a sigh. The pain focussed his mind, dragging him out of the whirling pit of darkness and despair he had been falling into. He rolled onto his back, gazing up at the ceiling. It would so easy to take the blade to his wrists, without Shiro in his room he could do it and no one would find his body until morning. The only thing stopping him was the thought of what Shiro would do without him. He closed his eyes again and lifted his wounded hand. He would have to make do with just the pain, at least it kept the darkness at bay for a while.

 

The door to the room opened and Keith looked up to see Hunk and Lance enter. Lance was dressed in one of his stupid robes with his face white with some sort of face mask. He stood with his arms crossed and looking down at Keith with a frown, “What the hell, man?” He snapped, “You-”  
  
“Lance, shut up. He's hurt.” Hunk nudged him with his elbow and knelt at the side of the bed, “Keith, lemme take a look at that.” Keith wordlessly held out wounded hand, eyes moving back to the ceiling, “Looks nasty. We'll get some bandages,” Hunk rose, “Just stay there.”  
  
Keith didn't have the energy to reply and he was left alone again quickly enough. They both returned carrying a reel of white bandages and a bottle of clear fluid. Hunk pushed the bandages into Lance's arms before kneeling down again. He looked at the blood all over the bed, almost black looking into the darkness, “Ya'know, I had this stupid idea that your blood'd be...I dunno...purple or something.” He smiled weakly, opening the bottle with hands that shook a little, “I guess even alien's bleed the same colour as us, huh?”  
  
“Full blooded Galra bleed a darker red.” Keith's voice cracked and he took a shaky breath, “I know. I...killed one of them.”  
  
Hunk's hands faltered as he poured the liquid, some sort of antiseptic, onto some gauze, “Oh...oh...well...”  
  
“Stuck him in the thigh with his own dagger after he'd just finished inside me. I pulled it out and while he was rolling on the floor I stabbed him in the throat.” Keith closed his eyes and turned his head away, “It was pretty messy.”  
  
Hunk swallowed, frowning a little as he worked. He pressed the gauze gently to Keith's wound, “Guess no one can blame you.”  
  
“I'd do the same,” Lance agreed, “He deserved it.”  
  
“You know what they used to call me, back in the garrison?” Keith twitched as the antiseptic stung but he didn't pull away as Hunk began bandaging him.  
  
“Uh...Emo kid?” Lance smiled weakly, “I remember that one.”  
  
“They used to say I was bending over for Shiro. That...that I was sleeping with him to get promoted.”  
  
Lance looked away, “Yeah.” He admitted, “I heard that too.”  
  
Keith snorted humourlessly, “'Course you did. And you believed them.”  
  
“What?! No way, man. I didn't believe that Shiro was that kinda guy-” Lance cut himself off, wincing when he realised what he had just said, “Shit, I didn't mean-”  
  
“Yeah. You did.” Keith closed his eyes and sighed, “I don't blame you. Everyone thought the same, what difference did it make to me? Back then...I hated everyone anyway.”  
  
“Except Shiro,”   
“Yeah, except Shiro,” Keith smiled then, a small, weak one but Hunk felt a smile of his own appear in response, “Shiro's...always been different. Treated me different, you know? He...he's always had faith in me even when no one else did.”  
  
“Keith?” Hunk began, finished bandaging his hand. He held it a moment, staring down at the white cloth, now soaking up blood, “I want you to promise us...promise us you're not gonna go anywhere?”  
  
Keith turned to look at them both, their faces pale and awkward looking in the dark, “What?”  
  
“Yeah, man. Without you, who am I gonna get angry at?” Lance forced a smile, “We need you here, Keith.”  
  
“I...guys I'm not going to just up and leave-”  
  
“We're not talking about that.” Lance shook his head, “Not...literally going away.”  
  
“If Pidge could see you right now...” Hunk shook his head and stood up, sniffing and wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his pyjamas, “Don't do this to her, man.”  
  
Keith drew his hand close to his chest, “Just...just go. I don't need-”  
  
“You do. You're gonna sit there and listen to us,” Lance snapped, “It's not just us either, everyone's worried about you. Do you know what you're doing to Shiro? You're _killing_ him. He's a mess! He doesn't know how to help you, none of us do. But we can try.”  
  
“I'm not trying to kill myself!” Keith snapped, forcing himself upright, “If I did, there's a million much easier ways I'd do it. You don't understand, none of you do and...and I hope you never will! I can't explain it. I...I don't want to talk about what happened to me. I _can't_.” Tears sprung to his eyes, burning like acid. Keith quickly wiped them away and turned his back on his friends, “Just go. _Please_.”  
  
“Fine but we're here...if you need us.” Hunk reminded him as he and Lance moved towards the door.   
  
As it opened they heard Keith's voice, small, cracked and broken; “Thank you,”

 


	5. ANNOUNCEMENT

Hi, sorry for the lack of updates on this fic but I lost the will to write more as I didn't really like chapter five. So, I have decided to re-write it. It was going in a direction I wasn't happy with and the only way to fix that is to totally rewrite the chapter. For that I am so, so sorry but I hope the re-write will be better.  
  
Please be patient and thank you to everyone who has commented thus far, I do read them all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I humbly apologise to my readers, this took far longer than it had any right to. I only hope that you can forgive me. I got really stuck and then wanted to take part in some ffxv weeks on tumblr so I put most of my other works on hold. However, I am back now! I hope you enjoy the new revamped chapter, the first bit is the same as the first time I posted but the rest has changed. Thank you all for being so patient, honestly I appreciate it.

The next day Keith found himself dressed and sat in the mess hall, his friends ate around him, chatting and making jokes. He felt strange, like he was outside of himself. Everything had a far away, dream-like quality to it. His food remained untouched until Shiro, who was sat beside him, nudged him and looked at him questioningly. So, remembering what Lance and Hunk had said, he picked up his spoon and took a bite of the green food. It tasted like ash in his mouth and he had to swallow a few times before it went down, he took a drink of water, trying to wash the taste away. Shiro looked pleased though as he went back to his own meal.  
  
Keith's eyes drifted over the scene, he remembered being at another table not all that long ago. A table filled with large Galra officers, the scent of roasted meat causing his stomach to growl painfully. He held a tray, standing still beside the captain of the ship at the head of the table. Keith had to grit his teeth to stop his hands from shaking too much and accidentally spilling the contents of his tray. The glass ware clacked a little but no one noticed. The captain laughed at something one of his underlings said, his hand rising to rest against Keith's exposed backside. He swallowed, picking a small dent in the wall opposite to stare at as the hand slid between his legs to fondle his balls. His cock twitched helplessly and no amount of fighting would stop it.   
  
Someone snapped their fingers, causing Keith to gasp and flinch, “Hey, watch it slave! You'll spill the drinks.”  
  
Keith dropped his head, frowning at his feet, “Sorry, sir.” he whispered hoarsely, moving away from the captain towards the end of the table where he had been summoned. He stood stock still while hands groped him and took some glasses from his tray, someone slapped him on the ass cheek and squeezed. Someone else lifted the thin tunic he wore to expose his cock to the rest. His face burned, his eyes stung and it took everything in him not to bring the tray down on the officers head. The consequences of disobedience had been demonstrated to him enough times already, his throat still ached from the last time he'd tried to fight. So, he dropped his eyes and let greasy fingers spread him open. He was made to put down the tray and dragged into someone's lap, he went limp against them. Eyes falling closed.  
  
“Keith! Keith!”  
  
Keith flinched, striking out with his fist as a hand curled around his wrist. A scream was wrenched from his throat and he snatched up a nearby knife, swinging it at the dark figure accosting him, “Get the fuck off! Stop! No! NO!” The knife bit into flesh, he heard a grunt and a curse, people scrabbling around, voices loud and ringing in his ears. Blood splashed his face, hot and thick but he didn't let up. He struggled, hands pinning him down. Someone grabbed his arms, using their weight to roll him onto his front. He kicked out with a leg, hitting someone else who yelped. Keith struggled, flinging his head back and hearing a loud crack. Weight bore down on him, one arm pulled up against his spine and sending pain shooting through his muscles. He cried out, bucking and writhing but whoever had him wasn't letting go.  
  
“Keith, it's me. It's Shiro. I need you to stop struggling. Can you hear me? You're safe here. It's us, your friends. _Please_ , Keith.”  
  
Kieth's breathing was erratic, his chest constricted painfully on a sob. He could feel tears sliding down his face as it was pressed against cool metal. He closed his eyes, shutting out the blurry light and shivered.   
  
“That's it. Right, I'm going to let you up now, ok? I didn't mean to...to restrain you but you were kinda out of control.” Slowly Shiro released Keith's arms, allowing blood to flow normally again. He backed away as Keith heaved himself up onto his knees.  
  
“Ow! Damn it, Hunk, that hurts!”  
  
“Lance, shut up. Let me wrap it. Looks pretty deep, you might need stitches.”  
  
Keith looked up, blinking, searching the area for threats. He found himself in the middle of the mess hall, green goo spattered everywhere and a blood stained knife glinting under the bright lights. He wasn't back inside the Galra prison ship. He wasn't a slave anymore. He looked over to Hunk and Lance who were sat in one of the few upright seats, Hunk was wrapping a bandage around Lance's upper arm. He turned his head to look at Shiro who's eye was already swelling. His heart hammered in his chest as he forced himself upright, stumbling into the wall. Panic constricted his chest, his body feeling weird and numb. He spotted the door and moved towards it, using the wall to hold himself up. Voices called after him but he ignored them. He slipped out into the hallway and continued on, heading towards the medical bay and hopefully escape.  
  
“Hey, Shiro, do you need me to take a look at your eye?”  
  
Shiro blinked his one good eye and turned to see Allura smiling gently down at him, “Huh? Oh. No, I think i'll be ok.”  
  
“Keith is going to be fine, Shiro. It takes time to heal from such things.”  
  
“Yeah...except, sometimes I wonder if it's possible to really heal at all.” Shiro muttered, looking down at his prosthetic arm and squeezing the fingers shut. He couldn't stop seeing the blank look in Keith's eyes when he'd attacked Lance, if Lance hadn't been so quick on his feet he'd have a new scar on his face instead of a wound on his arm. Keith's face had been twisted into a grimace of pain and terror, muttering under his breath as he'd gone for Shiro. He'd knocked him out of his chair, scattering food and plates everywhere as his fist connected with Shiro's face. It hadn't been Keith's fault, there was too much they didn't know about what happened to him. No one could have known that a simple dinner would set him off. Yet somehow, Shiro still felt guilty. He felt as if he were to blame, as if Keith's distress was his fault. Shiro sighed, closing his eyes, “Maybe you could take a look, I think it's swelling pretty bad.” He admitted, smiling weakly at Allura who nodded her head.  
  
Keith sat down on the med bay floor, legs crossed in front of him and hidden behind a cupboard. He stared at the needles and vials before him, hands shaking uncontrollably. He was shivering, as if he were cold and he debated with himself for a long moment before need won out.  
  
“That would be a mistake,”  
  
Keith jumped, almost leaping to his feet as he sought a weapon. He saw Kolivan sat on top of the cupboards, watching him from deep yellow eyes, “Where did you-”  
  
“I was invited here by the princess, I mean you no harm.”  
  
Keith swallowed, shifting further back away from the Galra. He hadn't noticed before just how large he was, how easy it would be for him to reach out and subdue him. Keith shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself, he felt vulnerable, alone, “They're...they're in the mess.” He whispered hoarsely.  
  
“I know where they are.” Kolivan sighed, he remained where he was perched, hands far away from the weaponry Keith knew he carried, “I wished to see how you have been coping since your rescue,”  
  
Keith forced a humourless laugh, “Peachy, obviously,” He rolled his eyes, the sarcasm wasn't lost on Kolivan even if he didn't understand the phrase.  
  
“You were a slave for several phoeb's, it is not uncommon to experience difficulty adjusting to freedom.” Keith stood very still, trembling helplessly as Kolivan moved slowly. He slid off of his perch and took two steps towards the medicine cabinets, he looked at them idly, “There may be ways to help you. But first you must be ready to let us help.”  
  
Keith took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his panic threatening to rise. He sank down the cupboard and sat back on the floor. He stared at the drugs, desire sparking inside him and he reached out to pick up a vial, “I just wanna be left alone.” He muttered, moving to pick up a needle.  
  
“In the end that will be the death of you,” Kolivan nodded towards the drugs, “It is a common practice to use it to subdue prisoners, render them helpless so they may be shipped off to whatever prison planet they are sent to. It is highly addictive and dangerous in large quantities, if you are not careful it will stop your heart.”  
  
Keith held the syringe up, staring at the liquid within, “Maybe it'll be a good thing then,” He whispered.  
  
Kolivan smiled, the expression strange on his furry face. He sat down in front of Keith, giving him plenty of space but showing him that he wouldn't be leaving any time soon, “I do not believe that you have any true desire to die, Keith. What happened to all that fire that helped you through the trials? Where is the boy who desired so much to find out where he came from?”  
  
Keith looked at the leader of the blades, his eyes blank and dark, “He died.” He answered, “He...died the moment the Empire got their hands on him.”  
  
Kolivan tilted his head, “You have been through fire, young one, no one comes out of that unscathed. The true test is whether we burn or come out the other side stronger. That choice,” He put his hand over Keith's, “Is up to you.” He rose slowly, turning away, “Think about all I have said. It would be a shame to lose such a strong warrior.”  
  
Keith blinked, watching his large back as he walked away.  
  
The Paladin's stared. Shiro forced his expression to remain neutral but inside he felt empty. He glanced to Allura then back to Kolivan, “What're you saying?”  
  
Kolivan sighed, “Keith is in no fit state to be a part of Voltron,” He began, not bothering to spare anyone's feelings. “You forget that he is part Galra. He is a warrior, if his mental health is left to decline as it is he could end up devolving into madness. Push him too far and he will lose himself to his fear.”  
  
Shiro took a breath and closed his eyes, “You mean he'll kill one of us?”  
  
“It is entirely possible that one of his flashbacks will cause him to harm one of you, yes. His trauma is manifesting as violence, as it does with all Galra. We do not cope with trauma well and it usually ends in death, one way or another. However, we have also established ways to help heal the mind. It is a slow process and to do it Keith must come back with us.”  
  
Everyone shared wary looks, “How does Keith feel about this?” Shiro asked.  
  
“I have yet to propose the idea to him but it would be in everyone's best interest if he did come back with me.”  
  
“Then you need to speak with him,” Allura agreed, “This isn't our decision to make.”  
  
Kolivan inclined his head, “I will propose the idea to him.”  
  
Keith lay in his bed, eyes on the ceiling and the drug seeping through his veins. His mouth was dry but he didn't have the energy to get up and get a drink. He heard his door open but ignored whoever it was, they weren't important. He let his eyes fall closed as heavy footsteps drew closer.  
  
“Keith?”  
Keith frowned, “Kolivan?” He mumbled, his voice thick and he forced his eyes open to find himself looking up into the Blade Leader's face.  
  
“I am here to offer the help of the Blade of Marmora.”  
  
Keith licked his lips, “Don' need no help.” He replied, his tongue heavy in his mouth, “Need'a drink though...”  
  
Kolivan sighed, shaking his head. He rose from his crouch and moved to a jug. He poured Keith a drink and turned back, “It is obvious that without some help you will only sink deeper into instability and it will eventually damage both you and your friends. For the sake of the universe you must come with us.”  
  
Keith let Kolivan lift him and he took the drink, “I'll be fine...” He said between gulps, “I'll work somethin' out.”  
  
“Keith,” Kolivan sighed, “You are still very young. A child by Galran standards, no true Galra would allow a child to suffer; it is not our way.”  
  
“I'm not a child. On Earth I'm an adult.” Keith snapped, “Thanks for the offer but I'd rather stay here with my friends...with...” He looked away and frowned at the wall, curling his knees to his chest, “I'm not gonna leave him and I don't _need_ help.” He breathed.  
  
“As you wish. I will return when you are sober.” Kolivan rose, “Perhaps you should rest.”  
  
Keith lay back and rolled over, facing the wall. He didn't speak as Kolivan left.  
  
Shiro hovered uncertainly outside Keith's door, he lifted his hand but before he could knock he let it drop. He took a breath, steeling himself and tried again. The sharp rap of his knuckles against the metal was almost too loud. He waited, breath burning in his lungs. He released his breath in a rush when he heard nothing and tried again, “Keith?” He asked, frowning at the silence. “Keith, it's me. Can I come in?” He received no answer but the door slid open. Shiro took that as ascent and stepped into the room. It was dimly lit, the only light coming from a lamp by the bed. Keith was curled up on the floor, wrapped up in blankets. “Hey,” He smiled weakly as he approached, watching Keith's pale face for a reaction as he sat down a few feet from him. He leaned against the wall, one arm draped over his knee.  
  
“Hey,” Keith replied, looking away.  
  
“How are you feeling?”  
  
Keith shrugged one shoulder, “Fine.”  
  
Shiro sighed, it wasn't as if he had expected the truth. Everyone could see that Keith was not fine.   
  
“Your eye...” Keith began before looking away.  
  
“Oh. Yeah, it's ok. It's just a bruise, I've had worse.” Shiro tried to smile again but it slid from his face when Keith fixed him with a blank stare.  
  
“I did that.”  
  
Shiro sighed again, “It wasn't your fault.” He insisted, “It was an accident.”  
  
“I cut Lance.”  
  
“No one blames you, you weren't in the right state of mind. If we'd known a dinner was going to set you off then it'd never have happened.” Shiro reached for him but Keith flinched violently so he withdrew his hand, “Sorry.” He muttered, frowning down at his knees. He and Keith had always been touchy, it was a part of their friendship. Shiro had to remember not to push, things were different now.  
  
“It's...it's ok.” Keith whispered hoarsely.  
  
“No. It's not. I just...I'm so used to touching you, I guess I forgot.”  
  
“I can...” Keith took a shuddery breath and buried his face in his knees, “I can still feel them.” He mumbled, his voice thick with emotion, “Touching me. Inside me.”  
  
Shiro felt a pang of helplessness. He was useless here. How could he help Keith when he couldn't even help himself. He understood, better than anyone else. He knew what Keith was talking about, he could still hear Sendak's voice in the back of his head. He could still taste the sand of the arena, the tang of salt and metal of blood. He shivered, tipping his head back and staring at the ceiling, “I know.” He whispered, his fingers tightening on his own knees. He pressed into his own skin, relishing the pain. He swallowed, “Kolivan says they can help you.”  
  
“No one can help me.” Keith whispered, shoulders tensing.  
  
“Keith-”  
  
“No. I don't need help. I'll get through this on my own.”  
  
“We aren't equipped to deal with this Keith. What I was taught in the Garrison is useless here, all we were told was how to recognise the symptoms not how to heal...I'm not a therapist.”  
  
“You're such a hypocrite.” Keith scoffed, lifting his head and shooting Shiro a dark look.  
  
“What?” Shiro frowned at him.  
  
“You're telling me to get help when at night we can all hear you scream in your sleep.”  
  
Shiro shuddered, looking away, “That's different-”  
  
“Wasn't long ago you were telling me it wasn't.”  
  
“I'm not part Galra.” Shiro snapped, regretting his tone immediately. He sighed and rubbed at his eyes, “Look, Kolivan said that the Galra don't exactly handle this stuff well. It'll drive you insane if we leave it.”  
  
“Shiro, this is my choice.” Keith looked at him, a deep, terrible sadness in his eyes, “Let me deal with this.”  
  
Shiro caved, he was too weak when it came to Keith, “Fine but the second you start getting bad I'm calling Kolivan.”  
Keith nodded reluctantly, turning away again. Slowly he lifted a shaking hand and let it fall to the floor between them, Shiro lifted his own hand to meet it. Their fingers curled around each other and Shiro felt Keith squeeze him almost tight enough to hurt.   
  
Shiro woke with a jolt, eyes snapping open and muscles tensing. He stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling, it took him a few moments to regain his bearings. Slowly he sat up, looking around the room and noting familiarities. It wasn't his room but he recognised the familiar red and white jacket thrown carelessly over the back of a chair. He took a slow breath, calming his rapidly beating heart as he shrugged himself out of the nest of blankets. A few pillows lay around him, some of them still warm. “Keith?” He called, frowning in concern. “Keith?” Shiro forced himself to his feet, searching the room for any sign of his friend. The room was empty. He went to the door and it opened, stepping out into the hall he set off in search of Keith.   
  
He tried the kitchen, the lounge room, the showers and the med bay but there was no sign. Shiro felt himself grow more and more agitated, he tried to contact the others but none of them had seen him either. Cursing he broke into a jog, searching the pool and finally the training room. “Keith.” He sighed as he peered through the doors and found Keith ducking low beneath the training dummy's blade. He smiled, watching the familiar frown of concentration on Keith's face. He stood and watched, keeping an eye on the way he moved. Keith was fierce, lithe and strong but his real strength lay in his speed. He watched as Keith lunged, his blade slicing a gouge across the dummy's armour, spinning aside as the dummy brought it's blade close to his cheek. Shiro's heart leapt a little, his fingers curling as he fought the desire to go in and join him. Keith dodged backwards but Shiro knew his balance was off, he watched and winced in sympathy as Keith's feet slipped from underneath him and he fell crashing to the floor.   
  
Keith cursed, rolling from a vicious down-swing from the robot. He dragged himself up, stumbling a little as he backed off to give himself some breathing room. He did a mental check for injuries but his ankle seemed to be able to take his weight well enough. The dummy came to a stop, waiting for instructions but before Keith could give them he heard a sudden clap. He spun on his feet, sword rising and a snarl appearing on his face before he realised it was just Shiro.   
  
“You've improved.” Shiro said, obviously pleased.  
  
“Thanks...I guess.”  
  
“Have you had breakfast yet?” Shiro asked hopefully.  
  
“No...I'm not really all that hungry.” Keith let his blade return to it's normal form and turned away, “I just wanted to spar.”  
  
“Keith-”  
  
“I'm fine, Shiro. I don't need a nanny.”  
  
Shiro bit back a retort and sighed, “Ok. I'm going to get some food and then take a shower, if you need me-”  
  
“I'll be fine.” Keith rolled his shoulders and started giving instructions to the training dummy.   
  
Shiro hesitated, staring at Keith's back, at the way sweat stuck his shirt to his skin and the way his hands trembled whenever he relaxed them. He forced himself away from the wall and left him to it.  
  
The second Shiro entered the kitchen after taking a shower he saw Hunk with his apron on and trying his damnedest to make food goo palatable. Shiro slid into a chair at the kitchen counter and watched Hunk plate up the goo along with some alien ingredients they had found at the space mall.   
  
“Hey,” Hunk turned and grinned at him brightly, “Breakfast's nearly done.” He assured him before returning to his work.  
  
Shiro sighed, “Good, I'm starving.” He rested his hand on the counter top and noticed it was shaking, he curled it into a fist just as Hunk turned around with a plate.  
  
“Taadaa! Goo and eggs for breakfast!”  
  
“Great.” Shiro looked down at the wobbly eggs lying on top of a heap of goo, the yolks were a strange sort of dark red colour while the 'whites' were pink. Shiro shrugged, he didn't dare ask what he was eating in case it was weird and gross. Instead he lifted his fork and pretended they were normal earth chicken eggs.  
  
“Aww, man, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.” Shiro turned at the sound of Lance's sleepy voice, he stumbled through the door with a huge yawn and scrubbed at his eyes, “Oh, hey Shiro.”  
  
“Morning,” Shiro picked up a spoon and tucked into his food while Lance slumped into his own seat, “Where's Pidge?”  
  
“Oh she was working on some modifications for the propulsion systems of the pods, she didn't get back to her room last night.” Hunk answered, setting down some food goo for Lance.  
  
“She's probably still down there,” Lance muttered, starting to eat. He was still dressed in his blue robe and lion slippers.   
  
“Yeah, I'll take her some of this later.” Hunk nodded towards his concoction, “Then I'll help her out for a while.”  
  
“Oh yeah, where's Keith?” Lance blinked at Shiro.  
  
“Hm? Oh,” Shiro swallowed his mouthful and took a sip of water, “He's in the training room.”  
  
“What?! This early?!” Lance groaned, “He's insane.”  
  
“Training helps focus the mind,” Shiro tilted his head, “Someone else could do with honing their skills too.”  
  
“Not this early. I can't function.” Lance groaned, letting his head fall forward into the crook of his elbow, “I'm gonna go right back to bed.”   
  
They all finished their food in companionable silence until the door opened to reveal the Princess, she offered them all a broad smile and Hunk offered her some breakfast as well. Shiro excused himself and went to find Keith again, he knew his constant presence wouldn't be appreciated but he couldn't let himself leave Keith alone for long. His mind was plagued by worries of what he might do.  
  
Keith stood beneath the heavy spray of water, letting it sooth away the aches from his intense session with the bot. He leaned his forehead against the cool tile and closed his eyes. Images flashed behind them, making him gasp and force them open again. He was exhausted but knew that sleep would only bring him nightmares.   
  
Their claws digging into his hips. The sound of their cruel laughter. The taste of his own blood. The thud of a punch.   
  
Keith hissed air through his teeth, eyes wide but unseeing. His hands curled into fists, his nails digging deep crescents into his palms, he could feel a familiar ache in his groin. The feel of hands around his throat, choking off his air supply. Movement between his legs. Fingers pushing deep inside him. The burning pain of too long claws against delicate flesh. Keith retched, his stomach turning as he sank to his knees in the shower. His cock was aching, hard between his legs but he couldn't do anything about it. The mere idea of touching himself sickened him. He stifled a sob with his fist, biting on it and tasting blood. His other hand splayed out against the wet tile, his forehead pressing against the wall just beneath. He sat there, on his knees and stared blankly at the rivulets of water. The shower disguised the hot tears that slid down his cheeks.  
  
Shiro pushed open the doors to the showers, fear worming its way into his gut. He heard the showers running and let out a sigh in relief, “Keith?” He called, walking further into the room, passing open stalls as he went. He heard a sound beneath the sound of running water, a low, desperate sob followed by the clear sound of someone vomiting, or trying to. Shiro found the closed stall and knocked, “Keith? Are you ok?”   
  
Vaguely Keith could hear someone calling his name but he couldn't respond. Bile burned his throat, choking him. He retched again, coughing and sputtering as his stomach tried to empty itself. He was drowning. Drowning in his own memories and he couldn't escape. He sobbed, fingers scrabbling at the tiles beneath him. A soft moan escaped his lips as he heard the door crack as someone threw their weight against it. Keith panted, trying to control himself when the door burst open and hands grabbed at him. He cried out, scrabbling weakly against them but they were too strong. He was hauled out of the shower and into a warm lap. He pushed and struggled but whoever it was held him close. He could smell something familiar but panic scrambled his mind. He reached up, dragging his nails down his captors face and when they winced he slipped away from them. He found a corner, gasping in sharp breaths as the air around him thickened. He held up his arms, protecting his face and heard himself pleading, begging. Everything he had refused to do in Galra hands.  
  
“Keith, it's me. It's Shiro.” Shiro said gently, not moving from his spot on the floor. He watched Keith's white face, his eyes wide and unseeing as he shivered in the corner. “Keith, please...”  
  
“No...no please...stop.” Keith moaned, fingers curling into fists as he pressed himself into the corner.   
  
“No one's going to hurt you. You're safe now, you're home.”  
  
Keith's mind latched onto the word 'home'. He grasped at it desperately and slowly the world came into focus, he blinked blearily and finally found himself looking at Shiro. He sat still, dripping and naked while his senses caught up with him, then he looked away. Heat burned his face, he felt sick again but for a different reason. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hide his body from Shiro before slowly forcing himself to stand. He hobbled across the tiled floor to where he'd left his towel and wrapped it firmly around his waist before trying for the door. Shame burned thick in his gut, he never wanted anyone to see him lose control like that but especially Shiro. He was weak. Weak and stupid. How could he have allowed himself to break down like that? To hurt his oldest friend? He had to get away, to escape those soft, understanding grey eyes. He had to leave.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for updating so late and for the shortness of this chapter. I have been very busy lately and what with the end of Voltron and everything else I got caught up writing a vent fic. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

Keith lay on the floor of his bedroom, eyes heavily lidded and pupils blown. His hands twitched a little and beside his fingers lay a vial of sedative and a needle. He was still dressed in nothing but a towel but it was warm enough for him not to care. After a moment he rolled over onto his side, drawing his knees to his chest. He closed his eyes, hoping that maybe he could sleep without nightmares.  
  
Shiro stood outside Keith's bedroom door, arm half raised as if to knock but he hesitated. He knew Keith was in there but he doubted his presence would be welcomed. Finally he let his arm fall back to his side and sighed, pressing his forehead against the steel. He curled his fingers into fists and closed his eyes. His breath heated the cold metal as he finally lifted his hand again and knocked quietly, “Keith?” He asked in a soft voice, “Keith, it's Shiro. I just...I need to talk, can I come inside?”  
  
Keith opened his eyes and sighed heavily before speaking, “Fine.”  
  
Shiro opened the door and stepped inside, his eyes immediately alighting on the drugs. He hesitated but forced himself to move to sit beside Keith's curled up form. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Mm, good I guess.” Keith mumbled thickly, the corner of his lips curling up into a small smile, “I'm sorry...about hurting you.”   
  
Shiro touched the scratches on his cheek, “It's ok. I shouldn't have tried to grab you.”  
  
Keith shrugged and lay his head back down with a sigh, “What did you wanna talk about?”  
  
“I don't know where to start...” Shiro shifted, draping his arm over his knee and staring across the near-empty room. Keith waited, the drugs threatening to drag him into sleep. “We're...both broken. For different reasons.” Shiro began slowly, frowning down at his hands, human and Galra tech side by side. He curled them into fists. “When I was a kid I smashed one of my mom's favourite vases,” A tiny smile lifted the corner of his mouth and Keith fought back the urge to press his own lips against it, “She didn't get angry though. Instead she put it back together again and put it on display. I asked her why, since it was broken and useless now. She...told me about kintsugui; the ancient Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with gold dust. She told me that when an object is broken and put back together again you're telling the history of the object rather than covering it up. It's about embracing flaws and imperfections rather than hiding them or hiding _from_ them I guess.” He glanced over to Keith who was watching him with a deep frown, “Well, I was like seven at the time and didn't really get it either.” He smiled, “I guess what I mean by all this is...maybe we're broken now but one day all this...it'll just be a part of our stories. One day we'll be able to put ourselves back together again.”  
  
Keith looked away, “Whatever.”   
  
“Keith. I...I want to help you. I just don't know how.”  
  
“You can't. I've told you that, Shiro.”  
  
Shiro looked down, tuft of white hair falling in front of his eyes. “The second time they put me in the arena I had to...fight some civilian.” He said hesitantly, hands curling into fists as he tried to force the story out through his reluctant mouth, “They didn't even know how to fight. I...I didn't have a choice. It was-”  
  
“Victory or death.” Keith whispered, not meeting Shiro's eyes but reaching out with his hand so that their fingers touched. Shiro curled his fingers around Keith's and squeezed.  
  
“Yeah. I had to kill them and...every day I see their face. I can hear their screams, they begged me for mercy...”  
  
 _Mercy champion, please.  
  
_ Shiro breathed deeply, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. “I ripped them apart.” He admitted, his voice choking over the admission. “I ignored their pleas. I should've...should've let them kill me. But I couldn't. I...I was scared and selfish. I needed to survive...for you.”  
  
Keith curled up in on himself, head buried in his knees, “For me?”  
  
“For you.” Shiro confirmed, fingers tightening on Keith's, “Keith I-” Shiro's words were drowned out by a sudden alarm, he released Keith and leapt to his feet as Coran's distressed voice came over the comms.  
  
“Paladins! We've got trouble!”  
  
“Keith,”  
  
Keith rose unsteadily, “Yeah...I'll just...” He stumbled into a wall with a groan, unable to hold his own weight.  
  
“You stay here, we'll see what's happening,” Shiro assured him, bolting through the door and into the hall. He almost bumped into Hunk who was clutching a baking tray to his chest like a shield.  
  
“What's happening?” He asked, panic in his wide eyes, “We were supposed to be hidden!”  
  
“Well, we'll find out when we get to the bridge. Come on.”  
  
Shiro and Hunk burst onto the bridge only seconds before Pidge, Lance and Allura. They froze when they saw an image of a Galra on their screen. He was smirking, yellow eyes glittering malevolently.  
  
“You have something that belongs to us, Voltron.” He growled.  
  
Distantly Shiro heard the doors slide open but he didn't immediately register it until he heard a strangled gasp. He turned to see Keith gripping the door with white knuckles, lips peeled back from his teeth and eyes narrowed in fury.  
  
“ _You_!” He spat, voice coming out more of a growl than anything human.  
  
The Galra laughed, “Ah there it is. The Half-breed whore.”  
  
Keith screamed, launching himself at the image but Shiro grabbed him by the waist and held him securely, “Keith! Keith calm down! He's not here damn it!”  
  
“I'll kill them! I'll kill them all!” Keith struggled violently, elbow flying into Shiro's gut and forcing the air from his lungs but he held on. Finally Keith heaved a deep breath that escaped in a sob and a desperate, wailing cry. He collapsed against Shiro, hands tugging at his own hair. Shiro hushed him quietly, holding him close and letting them both slide to the ground. “Keith it's ok. It's ok we're not letting them take you back.”  
  
“If you do not return our property we will destroy you all. You have one varga.” The image flickered and disappeared.  
  
Everyone turned, faces pale, to Keith who had his face pressed against Shiro's chest and was trembling violently. Shiro looked up at Allura, helplessness in his eyes.  
  
“Can't we just...you know, wormhole outta here?” Lance suggested, swallowing and still trying to recover from Keith's breakdown.  
  
“I'm afraid not, we're surrounded.” Coran admitted, agitation clear as he wrung his hands together, “Princess?”  
  
“It could be possible but only if we clear a path,” Allura replied.  
  
“We could go. Take the lions.” Shiro felt Keith shiver against him but he was looking at Allura.  
  
“We cannot form Voltron. There's no way I will be able to get back in time to the ship to start the teleduv.” Allura reminded them.  
  
“We won't have to. We just gotta clear a path, right?” Lance raised an eyebrow. “Four lions can do that.”  
  
Allura looked at him, “Who will look after Keith?”  
  
“I will, Princess.” Coran said, moving forward and crouching by Shiro and Keith's side, “Keith? Come on, let's get you somewhere-”  
  
“No.” Keith growled, peeling himself away from Shiro. “Let me fight.” He managed to get himself back on his feet, his head low and hands curled into fists. “I just need someone to get me on their ship-”  
  
“Keith no. Don't be stupid.” Shiro snapped, “You're in no fit state to be-”  
  
“I don't care!” Keith finally lifted his head revealing eyes with pupils that had narrowed, the whites carrying a strange yellowy tinge and elongated canines. “This is _my_ fight, Shiro you can't take this from me.”  
  
“Keith...” Shiro's voice trembled a little as he held up both his hands in an attempt to calm him, “Listen to me, you can't just go charging onto their ship, you'll only get yourself killed.”  
  
“So? At least I would've tried!”  
  
“Keith.” Hunk muttered, eyes wide and face a picture of horror. Pidge bit her lower lip anxiously, looking from Shiro to Keith and back again.  
  
“I'll go with you.” Lance said suddenly, “You have a better chance if you don't go alone.”  
  
Keith looked at Lance in shock, he opened his mouth but Lance stalled him with a hand on his shoulder. “We're a team, right?”  
  
“Lance you can't.” Shiro insisted, “Even with two it'll be suicidal and what if you both get caught?”  
  
“Shiro's right. No one is going. We're going to wormhole out of here as soon as the path is clear.” Allura said firmly, frowning at Keith and Lance, “I will not risk any one of you, do you understand?”  
  
“No. No! You don't understand! They took _everything_ from me! They ruined me! I have to-”  
  
“Keith, please understand that we are not trying to tell you that you cannot get your revenge. Trust me, I of all people understand that desire. But you must think this through. We are outnumbered and you are still regaining your strength from your captivity. Give yourself time to heal physically and then we can focus on revenge.”  
  
Keith opened his mouth but Shiro put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently, “Keith, please.”  
  
He shuddered and then dropped his head, “Fine.”  
  
“Thank you,” Allura offered him a small smile but Keith merely turned away and left the bridge, “Coran, please make sure he doesn't try anything stupid.”  
  
Coran nodded, a serious look on his face, “Of course Princess,”  
  
Coran locked Keith in his room and took up guard outside it. Keith stared at the locked door before turning and punching the wall. He felt something crack in his hand and agony shot up his arm, with a cry of frustration he collapsed to the floor and buried his face in his good hand. He stayed that way until he felt the ship shudder as the lions left their hangars and then he rose, holding his broken hand close to his chest. He moved to the door and pressed the intercom, “Hey, Coran?”  
  
“Yes Keith?”  
  
“I broke my hand, can you go get me something?”  
  
“Of course, I'll be back in just a tick!”  
  
Keith backed off and went to his wardrobe and pulled free the set of Blade armour Kolivan had given to him. He stripped off his clothes as best he could with only one arm and donned the armour. When he was done he pulled the hood up and holstered his knife at the base of his spine. Then he found some spare bandages beneath his bed and wrapped up his hand, tying it off using his teeth. When he was finished he heard the beep of the door lock. Keith moved to the side of the door and waited as Coran entered.  
  
“I have the-Keith?”  
  
Keith stepped out behind Coran and used the butt of his knife against the base of his skull, knocking him unconscious, “Sorry, Coran.” He whispered, kneeling down and checking the Altean's pulse. “But I've got to do this.”  
  
Keith didn't look back when he ran down the corridor towards the shuttle hangars. He picked one that Pidge had modified with a cloak and jumped inside, it was easy enough then to start it up and remotely open the hangar doors.  
He could see the battle as bright flashes of light in the darkness around them, he set a course for it and activated the cloak. As he neared the battle he heard Allura's voice begging him to come back over the comms so he shut them off and kept flying.   
  
He flew as close to the biggest Galra cruiser he could find and then activated his mask. He exited the shuttle and as he drifted, weightless, he sent a grappling hook into the side of the cruiser. He found a hatch and wrenched it open, slipping inside with ease. Around him the ship shuddered and groaned as it took a hit from what was likely the black lion. Keith took a breath before crawling through several ducts until he found an escape route. He soon found himself in a long, familiar hallway. His palms were sweaty inside his gloves and his knees felt like jelly, he took a moment to force away the urge to panic and drew his blade.   
  
“Keith? Keith can you hear me? It's Shiro.”  
  
Keith cursed under his breath, halting just inside an open doorway. He ignored the chatter from the others, the questions and curses and waited for two sentries to pass by.  
  
“Keith I know you can hear me. Allura says you're not on the castle ship anymore, where are you? We'll come in and get you.”  
  
Keith ran down another corridor, tense, on edge and waiting to be discovered. Several Galra in their grey armour dashed past as emergency lights began to flash. Keith dived out of his hiding place when they were gone and moved on, heading towards the bridge.  
  
“Please, Keith. Don't do it. Just wait for us to pick you up. You're not strong enough yet, at least give yourself time to recover!”  
  
Keith ducked behind a section of wall and held his breath when two guards tramped past. He rose and ran lightly, silently towards a set of large double doors. As he reached them he turned on his comms, “Shiro?”  
  
“Keith!” Shiro breathed, Keith knew he had his eyes closed and that adorable little frown between his eyebrows, “Where are you? We can get to you in five-”  
  
“Shiro, I...I'm sorry.”   
  
“Keith? Keith wai-”  
  
Keith turned off all his comms and took a breath, eyes closing briefly before he lifted his knife and slammed his hand against the pad by the doors. They slid open with a hiss revealing the bridge and the Galra who had destroyed Keith's life.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but hopefully sweet. This will be the last chapter. :O Enjoy and thank you to everyone who has Kudos'd and reviewed and I'm so sorry for such slow updates! I hope it's ok.

“There you are.” The commander grinned, revealing a set of sharp teeth, “Our little pet has returned.”  
  
Keith stood still, mind reeling from a burst of memory. He shuddered, stomach twisting as several guards approached him. Hands reached, clawed fingers brushing his arms.  
  
“Why don't you come here and kneel at my feet where you belong. Your friends should know what you really are.”  
The hands closed around his arms and Keith tensed. His jaw tightening. He was pulled towards the commander and shoved roughly to his knees, he dropped forward onto his hands. His broken wrist sending agony lancing up his arm and forcing a bitten off cry from his lips. Someone put a boot on the back of his neck and his forehead was pushed into the floor. He stared numbly at the Galra commanders boots, shining in the dim light.   
  
“Broadcast this to his friends.” The commander demanded, causing a few to chuckle, “Although I'm sure none of them really care. They did let him come back to us, after all. What, do they not like the way you suck cock little half-breed? Maybe they'll take you back after I've retrained you properly.”   
  
The pressure on Keith's neck was released, he curled his fingers into fists and clutched his knife tighter. He closed his eyes. Keith's first thought was to agree, how could any of them care about him? He was the lone wolf, angry, unwanted and strange. However he remembered Lance's offer to come with him, Shiro's insistent attempts to help him. Pidge's tears whenever she looked at him and Hunk's desire to cook him comfort food. He remembered Allura's reluctance to allow him to put himself in danger, despite no longer being a Paladin. Coran's attempts to cheer him up and make sure he was healthy. Keith swallowed, his heart swelling as it finally hit him; he wasn't alone anymore. He had a family, people who cared. People who were now terrified that he was going to die here. Keith choked on the sudden upsurge of emotion and lifted his head. He glared up at the commander, teeth elongating into vicious points and eyes flashing yellow. “Fuck you.” He growled, grabbing his knife and rising. Blood spurted from one the ones holding him, he gurgled as he fell backwards, clutching at his throat. He hit a monitor and sagged, collapsing into a pool of his own blood. Keith turned his crimson spattered face to the commander who gaped at him in shock.  
  
Shiro ran down the maze of corridors of the Galran cruiser, taking out sentries as he went. Pidge muttered in his ear, giving him directions as he skidded between the legs of a sentry and cut through it's back. He ran on, panting heavily as terror surged at every turn. Finally he reached the bridge, he deactivated his arm and placed it against the panel. The door swished open to reveal a massacre. “K-Keith?” Shiro sucked in a breath, the scent of blood and gore threatening to send him into a flashback. He dug his finger nails into the palm of his hand, the pain forcing his mind into the present as he stepped over a mangled corpse and into the room. His arm activated. “Keith?” Shiro looked around, eyes skimming over corpses and viscera before landing on a huddled figure in the corner. He walked towards them slowly, arm powering down before he crouched a few feet away. “Keith.” He sighed, seeing Keith lift his blood stained face and fix him with a wild stare, “It's ok. It's Shiro.”  
  
“Sh-Shiro?” Keith sucked in a breath, moving sluggishly as he stumbled towards him. Shiro caught him in his arms as he buried his face into Shiro's chest.  
  
“It's ok. I'm here now.” Keith's fingers curled into Shiro's armour and he closed his eyes tightly. Shiro turned his comms back on, “I've got him.” He said quietly, looking down at the trembling man in his arms, “He's safe.” There was a collective sigh and a distant sob from Pidge, “We're coming home, guys.”  
  
Shiro got them back to the black lion and then back to the castle ship in one piece. Keith remained silent and huddled up like a child, unwilling to get too far from Shiro's side. Shiro focussed on flying, his hands shaking as he handled the controls. He was hyper aware of Keith lying behind his chair, curled up on a pile of blankets and staring blankly at the wall. He made it to the safety of the hangar and they sat there while Allura opened a worm hole. Finally Shiro turned and rose, moving to Keith's side and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Hey, you need a shower.” He smiled, pushing his hands underneath Keith and hauling him upright. Keith went easily, his eyes finally finding Shiro's. They were bloodshot and red-rimmed as if he had been crying but Shiro hadn't seen him actually shed any tears.  
  
“We're back already?”  
  
“Yeah. C'mon, I'm sure Hunk's just dying to get some food into you and Allura'll want to ream you out for disobeying orders and knocking her advisor unconscious.”  
  
Keith sighed, head lowering like a wilting flower, “Yeah.” He let Shiro help him up, wincing as pain shot down his arm again.  
  
“And we're gonna need to fix that hand up.” Shiro commented, “But for now let's just get out of here.”  
  
“Shiro?”  
  
“Yeah?” Shiro hesitated as they waited for black to open her mouth and let them out, he looked down into Keith's exhaustion ridden face.  
  
“Thank you. For...for everything.”   
  
Shiro swallowed, trying to ignore the painful lump in the back of his throat and the burning in his eyes, “It's ok. I...” Shiro's tongue grew too heavy all of a sudden and he had to clear his throat. Black opened her mouth and they stepped out into the hangar to be greeted by their friends.  
  
Pidge ran forward, eyes wide and tear-filled as she almost threw her arms around Keith. Shiro stopped her at the last second, shaking his head slowly. She noticed the blood staining Keith's skin and now Shiro's armour and her eyes widened in horror. Allura and Coran ordered everyone back as they helped escort Keith to the healing pods.   
  
“A few hours in there'll fix you right up, number four!” Coran grinned, seeming to have already forgiven Keith for the large lump on the back of his head.  
  
Keith blinked at him, turning to Shiro who offered him another soft smile. He reached up and smeared a drop of something off of Keith's cheek, “You're gonna be ok, Keith. We're here for you.”  
  
“I...” Keith's voice cracked and he looked away, unable to hold Shiro's gaze. He shook as he gently extracted himself from Shiro's grip and stepped into the pod. As the glass rose to cover him he saw Shiro's eyes glued to him in a way he'd never noticed before and then his own eyes closed and he sank into oblivion.  
  
Shiro waited outside Keith's pod, head in his hands. Someone shifted nearby and he felt someone sit at his side, a hand came down on his shoulder and he looked up to see Lance. Pidge joined them soon after and eventually Hunk and Allura. Together they sat in silence and waited.  
  
Keith didn't need too long inside the pod. When it released him and he stumbled out strong arms were there to catch him. He lifted his head and met Shiro's warm gaze. As Shiro steadied him the others moved forward, patting him on the shoulder. Keith's lips curled upwards into a small smile, he remained close beside Shiro though. “Come on, let's get you some food.” Shiro whispered in his ear, hot breath brushing the hairs on the side of Keith's head, “And then a shower and bed.” Shiro put a firm hand on his arm and guided him out of the med bay. Behind them the others chattered, the conversation light and animated. They reached the kitchen and Hunk set to preparing some food while Shiro sat by Keith's side and squeezed his knee. Keith kept his head down and and his arms across his chest as he stared at the white table and listened to his friends talk around him. Finally a plate was put before him and he looked up, seeing Lance teasing Pidge, Allura and Coran speaking together with smiles. Keith swallowed and sucked in a breath, “Guys...” All at once everyone turned to him, eyes bright and curious. Keith squeezed his own wrists, nails digging into the skin. “I...” He trailed off, frowning at his lap. A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, fingers squeezing gently. Keith closed his eyes and breathed, “I'm gonna go with Kolivan.” He said finally, lifting his head again. He looked to each of them, nerves gnawing at his guts but seeing the concern and love in their eyes gave him the confidence to be firm in his decision. “They said they can...can help me. I...I need help.” Keith didn't realise he was shaking until Shiro pulled him to his side.

 

“It's good that you can admit that, number four.” Coran said with a smile.  
  
“Yeah. We'll miss you buddy.” Hunk sniffed, wiping at his eyes. He looked like he wanted to embrace Keith but was holding back.   
  
“You get better and then come back so I can kick your ass,” Lance smiled, winking as he leaned back against the counter top.  
  
“Just stay in touch, yeah?” Pidge insisted, “You're our friend.”  
  
Keith felt his face heat up and nodded slowly, “Yeah. Thanks...for everything.” He let Shiro pull him close, closing his eyes as familiar fingers carded through the hair at the back of his neck.  
  
“I'm gonna miss you,” Shiro breathed, closing his own eyes and burying his face in Keith's hair, “But you'll do it. I know you, Keith. You're the strongest person here.”  
  
Later that day Keith packed his few belongings. He looked around his empty rooms and sighed before moving to the door. He stepped out and started off towards the hangars where a ship awaited him. He had contacted Kolivan earlier and he had agreed to the arrangement eagerly. Just as he reached the hangar someone called his name, he turned to see Shiro stood before the other Paladin's. Shiro stepped forward, eyes moving over Keith as if he would fade away if he looked away. “Keith...” He moved closer, hesitating, “I...” Keith waited as Shiro lifted his hand and cupped his cheek, “I...” His tongue felt too thick, too heavy in his mouth and the eyes on his back didn't help. He frowned, struggling before taking a breath and leaning down. He pressed his mouth to Keith's preparing to be pushed away and rejected but Keith only stiffened briefly. His eyes flew open in surprise, heat flaring where Shiro's lips met his skin. Then he let himself relax. Shiro was safety. He was warmth and kindness. Keith dropped his bag and lifted his arms, wrapping them around Shiro's neck and standing on tip-toe. Shiro's hand rested on his hip as Keith deepened the kiss, tongue meeting tongue. Warmth spread through his chest. Shiro's lips were chapped, gentle and everything he'd ever wanted.   
  
When they finally had to part Keith let his eyes open. Shiro's were slightly wet but he wore a smile and a blush as he brushed his thumb across Keith's cheek bone. “Come home soon.” He said, voice breaking only a little, “And get better for us...for me.”  
  
Keith cleared his throat but it couldn't dislodge the lump there, he glanced over Shiro's shoulder to see Lance shaking Pidge like a ragdoll in his excitement. Allura had her hands to her mouth and was beaming behind them. Hunk was sobbing openly. Keith's lips curled up into a small smile, “I'll come home when I can.” He promised and stepped back, picking up his bag again. He paused and looked back at Shiro, “See you soon.”  
  
“Yeah. Soon.” Shiro replied roughly, hands curling into fists at his side as Keith opened the doors to the hangar and stepped inside. The doors closed on him and he was gone but Shiro could still feel his lips on his skin. He touched his mouth, feeling giddy and flushed as the ship rumbled around them, telling them that Keith had left.

 


End file.
